Hinata's Little Black Book
by PurpleMoon3
Summary: The real reason Hinata taps her fingers together, why Naruto loves ramen, and Itachi's only weakness. A collection of random stories slightly on the dark side of humor. Not for cannon fanatics. Now with Spiffy quotes at the begining of each chapter...
1. Hinata's Little Black Book

**Hinata's Little Black Book**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto**

**Warning: Contains Major OOCness**

**Inspired by cosplay: Cup of Ramen**

**Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired.- Robert Frost**

Hinata Hyuuga was thought to be a shy and gentle girl. Most thought she would be a better nurse then ninja. They were half right.

She was extremely shy. So much so that people assumed her 'finger pointing' was a nervous habit. She was by no means gentle. Hinata was very subtle. While her timid-ness inhibited her when fighting friends and family; Hinata could defend against enemies and poison with the best of them.

It was well known to those who knew her that Hinata had a monstrous crush on Naruto Uzumaki. No one knew why. The reason would have blown their minds.

Naruto was the vessel of the fox demon Kyuubi. Despite all laws and lies spread for her generations benefit, Hinata knew this and loved him for it. The young girl was first drawn to the boy for his ability to smile no matter what. That trait started her crush, and she stalked him.

All the jeers confused and angered the girl at first; all the hate filled looks sent at the blonde was a puzzle. Hinata put two and two together. She understood. The first few times flashes of red appeared in his blue eyes confirmed it. Hinata Hyuuga's crush turned into full-blown admiration and devotion.

So she watched from afar; her shyness preventing her from speaking out. Hinata focused only on the blonde bombshell. Bombshell. Hinata sometimes wondered when he would explode and wreak beautiful destruction.

He was her world. Her safe place; whenever the shorthaired girl saw him she tapped her two index fingers together. But it was not a nervous habit. In her mind she was counting names, each touch of fingertips striking down another for damnation.

Her blush wasn't because of her crush. At least not the way her sensei thought. No, she blushed at the thoughts of killing people. So Hinata watches from a distance, and slowly plots revenge of the strictest detail for them both.

When he cheered her on at the chuunin exam she thought she would cry from happiness. But she must not seem weak in front of her Oni-sama, so she did her best to burn family bridges.

Hinata has a little black book. She can't remember everything. Once Kiba found it; he thought it was her diary and read it. The dog user was a little upset to find the only thing in the book was a list of names that seemed to include everyone but him. Kurenai, Iruka, Shino, and most of the rookie nine were also missing from the list but he didn't notice that.

Hinata has a dream. She wants to make herself stronger. Someday Naruto-kun will reach his potential. When that day comes Hinata will be by his side with her little black book, checking off the names of the dead.

END.


	2. Naruto's Orange Clothes

**Why Naruto has Orange Clothing  
I'm as pure as the driven slush. - Tallulah Bankhead**

Naruto loves orange. It is a happy color, a bright color, a color that screams 'here I am! Look at me!' Several people over the years had repeatedly told the boy that ninja's don't wear orange. Naruto always ignores those people.

The origin of Naruto's orange jumpsuit remains a mystery to friends and enemies alike. The outfit could not be found in any shop in Konoha and most remembered when the hyper blonde never wore the blinding color. Some thought he snagged it when dumpster diving, others suspected it was a gift from a random and colorblind traveler. The theories were numerous and each one became stranger than the last. Only three people knew the real answer; Naruto, his stalker, and an old woman.

Naruto Uzumaki's infamous orange outfit was designed by the boy himself and sewn by a little known, near-blind, seamstress. The graying lady was almost sixty-five and rarely left her house due to an extreme case of arthritis.

The two met one day when young Naruto was running from a mob of civilian prank recipients. He bumped into her, and only seeing a short human shaped blob with a yellow top, the old woman loaded her grocery bags into the arms of the apologizing child while ordering him to carry them as recompenses.

Both benefited from the meeting. Naruto got a hiding spot and the lady got some company. He found out her job (the woman would go into rants about how the new flashy chains took up all the business) and quickly came by whenever something needed mending. Later on in the future, the old seamstress, in turn, would come to see him in the hospital to repair damaged clothing and get a bottle of painkillers for her arthritis. Thus was their relationship.

Then Naruto found an art book. The young boy was feeling particularly upset and had come to visit his ancient friend while getting the holes in his pants fixed. As the woman darned the trousers, Naruto flipped through the book. One section, titled '_The Color Wheel and Physical Effects on People'_, caught the boy's attention. According to the book, orange was a color known to give major headaches after prolonged exposure. With a grin, the blonde borrowed some scraps of paper and made plans.

After ordering the material, the old seamstress followed her young friend's instructions. Orange was tons easier for her eyes to see anyway.

Most people think Naruto is an idiot who happens to have a few good ideas. Truth is, Naruto just sees things differently. The Sexy no Jutsu for example, while considered perverted does get the job done. It's complement of Harem no Jutsu simply deals with a stronger willed opponent. Naruto is notorious for never giving up, he also 'never forgives' things. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when his logic came up with the idea for orange clothing. To Naruto, if the villagers were determined to glare at him with those cold eyes, they'd pay for it. The results were immediate. Naruto loves orange.

END


	3. The List

**The List  
A question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I or are the others crazy? - Albert Einstein **

Raindrops clattered against the roof shingles, their sound drowning out the angered whisperings of the Hyuuga girl wandering through the halls. Hinata twisted around the corner, narrowly avoiding collision with two distant cousins who ignored her. Most of her family ignored her so it was nothing new. The short haired girl ignored them as well for she had more important things to do, like update her book. Hinata paused in her musings of death as her thoughts turned back to the blonde demon she loved with everything in her. "Naruto-kuuun." The girl whispered as she entered her room, dragging out the end with passion.

Blood rushed to her cheeks as her fingers played along the top of her desk, searching for the minute latch located there. "Naruto-kun, you don't have to be upset. I'll remember for us. I'll make sure we repay them." Muttered Hinata, with her blush ever increasing. One well cared for nail dug under and popped the latch, in the process revealing a small compartment, only around two centimeters deep. She pushed over some graphic papers and pulled out the thin black book which contained her list.

Out of the secret drawer came a pencil that Hinata expertly twirled before beginning to write. She didn't want to accidentally forget anyone. Her handwriting was small to make sure the book lasted; she'd rather not have to get another one. Dot. Dot. Triangle. An angry expression had replaced the blissful one she wore moments earlier. Next to each name she etched small characters, each symbolizing the different degree of punishment.

At the end of the list Hinata flipped the pencil around her thumb once more while she thought. She added another name, Kisame. How dare he threaten to cut off her loves legs! That sword of his may block chakra, but it would never save him from the agonizing pain of the Red Pepper Blitz.

Hinata made a mental note to carry her special blend of spices with her from now on; one never knew when they would come across a missing nin. The Red Pepper Blitz was a poison Hinata invented. After seeing the effects of the Red Pepper Pill of the Akamichi clan, the Hyuuga got an idea in her head. With careful use of the byakugan and a few well spaced questions to her fellow genin, Hinata was able to isolate the hazardous effects and reproduce them. Once again smiling blissfully at the thoughts of a quickly wasting away shark-man, Hinata flipped to the front of her book and reviewed it. They would all pay in time. They would pay in blood for every tear, every heartache, and every invisible scar.

At the very top of the list was a young boy, not much older than Hinata herself, but the Hyuuga had him down to get his heart ripped out after a castration and several other tortures. His name was Kenchi Wantanabe. His crime: knocking Naruto into Sasuke and forcing the two to kiss. She was supposed to have Naruto's first kiss! Hinata Hyuuga! Not that pretty boy Sasuke! Reigning in her emotions, Hinata tucked her pencil behind her ear and continued down the list.

_Rumina Frost. Owner of the second hand weapon shop. Known to give free weapons every festival to those who would discredit her Oni-sama._

_Jacobo Jumanji. Retired ninja. Continously locked Naruto out of the orphanage._

_Seto Hino. Assasination attempt on Naruto at age four. Method, poison. _

_Kakashi Hatake. Perverted and terrible teacher. Poked Oni-sama where the sun don't shine, and neglected his teaching._

_Gringo Okada. Ex-employee of the Maki cleaners. Charged triple whenever Naruto-kun needed something dry cleaned._

On and on the list went, including:

_Sakura Haruno. _

_Ebisu._

_Sasuke Uchiha._

_Itachi Uchiha._

_Anko Mitarashi._

_Hiashi Hyuuga._

_TenTen._

Hinata lingered over the name Neji Hyuuga. Conflicting emotions scattered across her face as she thought about the boy she had once considered a brother. Finally, after much thought, she flipped the pencil around and rubbed out his name. Naruto-kun already beat his ass into the dirt during the chuunin exams, and she had seen the respect her cousin now treated Naruto with. The branch family member had redeemed himself in her pupil-less eyes, but just barely.

Over sixty pages of names needed to be reviewed, and Hinata enjoyed every minute of it. Giggling and blushing, the girl added symbols here and there. Coming near the end of her list, Hinata very carefully drew a line through a name found there. Sure it wasn't her or Naruto that finished the man, but the important thing was that the old fool had been killed. And by his own student no less.

Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage. Hinata Hyuuga shook her head and closed her little black book. The old man really did deserve it. He knew everything that happened to Oni-sama - he had a freak'n crystal ball! - but didn't do anything to stop it. The third obviously cared more about the village than the people. There was a difference, and if he couldn't see that than it was a good thing Orochimaru attacked.

Someone knocked on the door. "Hinata-sama, your father requests your presence," came the familiar whisper of one of the servants. Hinata slipped the thin black book into its hidden compartment and walked out. With her head bowed, she followed the woman down the hall. No one noticed the slight red tinge to her cheeks as thoughts of her father dead flitted around her head. As always, everyone ignored her.

END.


	4. How Sasuke Can Kill Itachi

**How Sasuke Can Kill Itachi  
Chapter dedicated to Xerxes93  
Most bitter are the quarrels of brothers. - Latin Proverb**

Itachi Uchiha snapped open his red eyes and shivered. Sweat poured off his body, soaking the sheets beneath him. After five minutes he was able to get his breathing under control, just before his partner, Kisame, walked in. "Yo, everything all right? Is it another side effect of that sharingan?"

"No..." Itachi trailed off. The shark-man shrugged and left the dark room. As the door soundlessly shut, Itachi shook with the remembrance of his dream.

Sasuke, the only Uchiha he didn't kill and his little brother. "He must hate me, he must hate me, he must hate me," The oldest Uchiha muttered his mantra over and over to himself, seeking comfort in the words for he knew deep down, there was only one way Sasuke could kill him. And he couldn't die, not yet; he still needed Sasuke to hate him. Itachi brought his hand close to his face; he couldn't tell if the blurriness was from the darkness of the room, him still shaking, or his failing eyesight.

The mangekyo user took a deep breath. Recent memories of his nightmare/dream pelted his mind, taunting him of what could so easily happen.

"_Aniki! Aniki! You said you would train me!" A younger version of Sasuke cried while running up. Itachi paused and turned. With every step chibi-Sasuke took, Itachi felt himself softening. But he couldn't be soft. The clan wouldn't allow it; if they found out they might try and taint his innocent little brother to become like him. The two brothers already looked so similar; nearly everyone in the village compared them to one another._

_Once chibi-Sasuke came within range, Itachi jutted out his forefinger and flicked the little boys head. "Sorry, maybe next time."_

_"But you promised!" Whined chibi-Sasuke as he rubbed his poked head. Suddenly the scene changed from a street to a grassy field and chibi-Sasuke began to grow. Itachi stepped back, watching his formerly cute little brother become the angst ridden teenager he now was._

_"Aniki, you promised." The slightly older Sasuke seemed be crying, if his raising of the arm to wipe his eyes was any indication. Taken aback, Itachi calmly replied, "Run, and live like a coward-"_

_"BUT I DON'T WANT TO!" Sasuke cut Itachi off with his scream. The older brother tensed as Sasuke looked up. Those eyes..._

_Filled with some emotion Itachi had very little experience with. He remembered his mother used to give him that same look. "Itachi! You...you...you killed them...all." _

_"I had to test my-"_

_"I don't care about that!" Sasuke took another step closer. Itachi felt himself starting to shake, even though it was just a dream. In some legends, mangekyo was rumored to have the ability to see the future. Could this be a possibility of what was to come? He could not let this happen. _

_As Sasuke kept coming, ironically Itachi was drawn to the fact that his forehead protector held a shallow gash over the Konoha symbol. No...It was impossible. Desperate now, Itachi called, "You must hate me. If you ever hope to kill me you must hate me. You don't have enough hatred to kill me yet."_

_Sasuke smiled. Itachi was extremely freaked out, even though he didn't show it. HE IS SUPPOSED TO HATE ME! "Silly big brother, how could I hate you? We're brothers, why would I want to kill the only family I have left?" By this time the boys were only centimeters apart. The red eyed Uchiha gulp; he wanted to run away from his black eyed brother, but pride refused to let him._

_Sasuke reached up and clutched Itachi's black robes with admiration pouring off him. "Were brothers Itachi, I...I lo-"_

_The cloaked man grabbed his brother's shoulders. "I killed them all! Don't you understand that! I. Murdered. Our. Whole. Family."_

_Sasuke's head dropped. "I know. But they were mean to Aniki," Sasuke's head shot up and he grinned a grin worthy of Naruto on ramen. "I love you Itachi-niisan! I want to be with you forever!" He jerked his hand down and used the tension created as leverage to pounce on his big brother. Itachi felt his heart explode._

"Hn." Itachi grunted with not the least bit trepidation. If that was a vision of the future, then was Sasuke going to become a missing-nin and come to be with him! Itachi got up and threw on his Akatsuki cloak, once again an emotionless drone. "Kisame, how far from Konoha are we?"

"Eh? Konoha? Thinking about going after the Kyuubi-brat again huh. About a week I guess if we take our time."

"A week." Itachi considered. No. That dream was just too creepy. He didn't want to risk seeing Sasuke right now. Judging by their last encounter, he hated him at the moment, which was enough. Itachi laughed at himself, like Sasuke would ever abandon his village. Last night was just a nightmare, nothing else.

* * *

Sasuke stood alone in the Uchiha mansion. Before him, nailed on the wall, was a family portrait. He concentrated solely on the figure of his brother. "Why..." 

And with a violent sneeze, Sasuke's attention was rocked away from the picture. "Damn fangirls must be talking about me." He walked out and locked the door heading for the bridge to meet his teammates. Clenching a fist in annoyance the avenger growled, "Naruto. How did you get so strong? Itachi..." For a split second an emotion called love graced Sasuke's features before changing to indifference. "I will kill him."

END.

**It's only illegal if you get caught. - Anonymous**  



	5. The Truth About Miso Ramen

**The Truth About Miso Ramen  
I may not know much, but I know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad. - Lyndon B. Johnson**

Little Naruto sniffled while studiously avoiding the three recently graduated genin who were searching for him with criminal intent. At five and a half the young blonde lived by himself, with the occasional adult coming by his small apartment to drop off groceries and lament if he was still alive. In short Naruto had no one to run to for help, and nowhere to go. It was times like these he was glad for his small statue and natural hiding instincts.

Naruto dived headfirst into an empty cardboard box, which tipped over die to the sudden added wait. Sufficiently hidden for the time being Naruto held his breath as the sounds of running faded. "Damn demon brat, where could he have gone..." A slight breeze brought the words of the passing ninja to the blonde's ears, and Naruto curled in on himself.

Why did they hate him? He didn't know. Why did they glare at him when he watched their training sessions? It's not liked he did anything to distract them. And they always called him demon when they thought he wasn't around or couldn't hear, but Naruto's hearing was better than most people. He listened to many things he didn't fully understand, and picked up quite an inappropriate vocabulary from it.

Slowly the boy uncurled and was about to lift the cover on the box to run for it, he was dangerously close to the garbage, when whispering came to him.

"Ichiraku, Miso. You know the kind." A suspiciously gruff voice muttered. Who ever it was sounded sleepy, and not too different from the drunk Naruto heard yelling profanities every other night down the block. Maybe they were drinking partners?

"Miso Special coming up. Did the wife kick you out again last night?"

"How'd you guess? Wandered around with a headache the size of Konoha before finding a park bench to sleep on."

"Well, personally you shouldn't have ordered that ramen to go. I told you not to let any kids have it. It affects them different."

"Whatever, how was I supposed to know Mai-chan would turn into a raving lunatic? The kid was hyper enough before stealing some while my back was turned."

"Here. One Miso Special. For here."

Naruto peeked from under his box. Two men were eating at a ramen shop several feet away, whispering so as not to disturb the other customers. The chef sat down a steaming bowl of noodles and broth. Naruto felt his nose twitch at the smell, strangely pleasant.

Waving a ladle threateningly the owner of the stand muttered, "Just don't let your girl get anymore. I don't want an army of angry parents and ninja's coming down on me for 'spiking' their little babies food."

"Stop your worrying. I know of several other people who can't go a week without your special, and some of them ninja. They wouldn't let you close up shop. Besides, don't you have your own little girl to take care of?" Answered the customer as he picked up the chopsticks with shaking hands.

"Ayame? Ever since her mom died in that mission, Miso is the only thing paying for her education. I'll not let her become a ninja. Everything else can pay the bills but collage requires, something extra."

The man nodded and dropped his chopsticks into the bowl. Naruto gaped. How could anyone finish a bowl that big that fast? Strangely, the man's hands had stopped rattling and he pulled out some ryo. Naruto felt his eyes bug out at the amount. That much for one bowl? It was insane! He would have to save _all_ his pocket money for two months to pay for it! That meant no new clothes, no candy, no arcade games (when they let him in of course) and only whatever food his 'caretakers' brought home. It wasn't much.

Naruto shook himself out of his thoughts when he noticed the man was gone, the chef dumping the broth less bowl behind the counter. His curiosity began to get the better of him. Why would one bowl of ramen cost so much? He knew for a fact it was one of the cheapest foods out there; the adults often only bought the instant kind for him to eat. Quickly scanning for the enemy genin, Naruto slipped out from under the box and rushed across the street.

He approached the stand nervously at first, but gained confidence seeing there were no immediate threats to his self. The blonde hopped up on the stool and said in his most respectful voice, "Hey old man, what is Miso Special?"

Ichiraku froze. He turned and leveled his eyes at the small blonde kid staring at him innocently. '_Ah. The demon boy. I'll kill Vince next time I see him.'_ The old man stared at the boy for several moments. He noticed how messy the kid was, Naruto looked like he had been running a marathon.

Naruto scowled. "What's the problem I just asked a question."

Ichiraku got an idea. It would make him a hypocrite, but this was the _demon container_ he was thinking about. The kid would probably benefit from the stuff more than anything else. And beside, it would give him the boost he would need when those newbie ninja's came back. "Eh, nothing. Just thinking kid." He leaned over the bar looking Naruto directly in the face. Inside Naruto cheered at the attention. "Miso Special is a secret. Can you keep it a secret and never tell anyone else about it?"

Naruto nodded his head enthusiastically. Ichiraku smiled. "Miso Special is called that because it is Miso ramen with a few very very special -secret- ingredients. Follow me?" Once again Naruto nodded. He was being trusted with a secret! The old chef was acknowledging him! "Good. These ingredients are so secret even I don't know the name of some of them," a lie. "But many people don't like them, so we can't let anyone find out."

"Even old man Hokage?" Naruto whispered in awe.

The ramen chef nodded sagely. "Even old man Hokage-sama." He raised his eyebrows. "Would you like some? First bowl is on the house."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay!" Naruto beamed. He didn't seem to notice the few people that had been at the stand with them vacate the food stand. The old chef laughed and dropped the noodles into the pot. Naruto watched in fascination. The old man then took several corked bottles from his apron pockets and dumped them into a separate bowl of miso ramen. "Are those them?"

"Yes. See this one," he showed Naruto a tinted yellow glass bottle. "Makes the stuff extra tasty." The blue-eyed kid slurped the steaming ramen while his gaze never wavered from the parade of containers going past him. "And this one gives you a kick of energy. This, well I don't quite know what this does but the man I learned the recipe from said to always add it in," another lie. Three more bottles were passed for Naruto's examination.

Suddenly, Naruto sat up. He wanted to _move_. He wanted to _shout._ And for once in a long time he felt this, bubble, of happiness wrap around him. Now he knew why the nice man's ramen cost so much, and why it was a secret. Some people hated it when others were happy; several had kicked him just for smiling.

Offhand Ichiraku commented, "You know kid, with your face like that you remind me of the Yondaime when he would eat my Miso Special. Of course I was much younger then, and he only came around every other month or so..."

"The Yondaime ate this!" Ichiraku winced. Yep, the kid reacted the same way Arashi used to, it would only be seconds before he vanished. "Well, then I'm going to be the next Hokage! I'll surpass all of them, and eat even more ramen than all of them combined!" Naruto shouted with a grin on his face. Then he ran, his yell attracting the attention of the three genin from earlier.

Ichiraku nodded to himself. The kid did leave a dust cloud in his wake but he wasn't near as fast as the Yondaime had been. But that might just be because of the age difference, they might even be related. He glanced down at the various bottles littering the bar, dust from solider pills and caffeine tablets were the only 'legal' ingredients that went into the special ramen. Ichiraku sighed, he would need to crush more of those poppy seeds soon.

Naruto laughed as ran from the three people. Amazingly, he was outdistancing them. "Just you wait! I'm the future Hokage!" The screaming Naruto left the genin far behind. Panting, they stopped short.

"Gringo, I think we should give up and rest. There's still that survival training sensei mentioned tomorrow. I heard rumors if you fail then they send you back to the academy." The only girl in the group heaved out.

"Shut it Nari. I'm not going back to the academy."

"With your luck you'll end up dropping out and working at a dry cleaners..." The third member of the group muttered darkly.

"What was that Che!"

Naruto rushed all the way back to his small apartment paying no attention to the drama unfolding behind him. There he slammed the door shut and leaned against it. Sucking in air, he laughed and began to bounce of the walls. Life was good. Naruto crash landed on his bed and started talking to himself. "Man. I got to get more of that stuff. Miso ramen kicks butt."

Over the years Naruto found ways to get his bi-weekly fix of Miso ramen. As a cover, sometimes he ordered regular when Iruka took him out. When that happened he ordered a ridiculously large amount so the bill looked the same. No one suspected a thing. Naruto never forgot his promise. He never told anyone about Miso special. Even Sakura, who he would go to hell and back for, wouldn't get the secret of his ramen obsession out of him had she wanted to. Sometimes the blonde would wonder why everyone else his age tired out so easy, but then he went back to his precious ramen.

Ichiraku never let any other kids try the Miso special after Naruto. It was quite an interesting experiment, but he never expected the kid to be addicted after the first bowl. Plus exposure at such a young age hardwired his body to react the same even as he aged; scary to think of a Konoha filled with hyper ninja's.

Kakashi wondered if Naruto ate Miso Special like he himself did after seeing the blonde at the stand, but threw the thought away. The stuff always calmed him down and Naruto was anything but.

Choji admired how much of the brothy substance Naruto could put away.

Hinata dug through the Ichiraku's records to try and find the recipe. She wanted to know how to make it for if and when they got married.

Orochimaru always though Naruto got his extreme stamina from the fox, and never put any brainpower to the issue. He would be screaming if he knew the truth about the Miso ramen.

END.


	6. He Was Right The First Time

**He Was Right the First Time  
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. - Mark Twain**

Love is a powerful force; it can make people strong or weak. It can be used to heal or hurt. Love is something that can even transcend to laws of nature it given the chance.

Hate is just as strong. It can be used to kill and drive people beyond their limits. It is never forgotten.

* * *

The sand stirred restlessly as her little boy walked through the streets. She was always watchful, and waiting. Always. For the sand never slept, even though they said death was plenty of time to sleep the sand refused the offer. She would not give in. Only when the boy was safe with the means to protect himself would she even give rest a thought. The boy never slept, why should the sand?

The small child walking home to an empty and desolate house was a product of hate that the sand followed to protect. Slowly the sun rose on the city, and the sand sparkled in the warmth as her child entered the house. He rarely stayed outside during the day, and his skin was incredibly pale from it. The sand whirled angrily sensing its charge hide once again from the crowds of people waking up.

The many blood imbued grains exploded outward, frantically searching for the cracks in walls and windows leading to her charge. The sand had never trusted the man once known as its brother. Nor did it trust the one called husband long ago. It tore throughout the house, finding several primed explosive tags in the process.

With a screech sand poured into the house, adding to it's mass the natural grains outside and those stuck in cervices. The red haired boy looked up as the sand quickly wrapped him in a coccon of impentrable minerals. Incased in the sudden darkness, Gaara whimpered at the shudder that rocked the hardened shell.

* * *

Once upon a time he would have thought it was his mother holding him, but surely that couldn't be it. The sand lost form and collapsed, only leaving the usual wisps swirling at his feet. Standing in the rubble, he looked up at the missing second story of his house.

Green eyes glanced at the street. The boy berated himself. He should have known and been aware. The people hadn't slept in their homes during the night. They knew this was going to happen. It was the fifth attempt on his life. He had to love only himself...

* * *

The sand would have shrieked in triumph if it could. The kazekage would not win. She, it, would never allow the boy to be hurt. Her revenge would last, and forever be a thorn in the man's side.

When they told her of the demon, Karura told them to not do it. She refused to subject her unborn child to such a thing, but they forced it on her. The woman had always hated the sand; it got in her clothes and teeth, stung her eyes. Now she was the sand. Now she was the namesake of the village she had cursed with her dying breath.

Hate had flowed out of her as she stood on the outskirts of the village, feeling her lifeblood pour onto the sand. No doubt her baby would be powerful. She would make sure of that. Karura looked into his jade green eyes and cried. He was so beautiful. He was a demon, and human, and he was wonderful. In that moment love and hate combined creating the force that could challenge death. Nothing could stand in the way of a her wish. Not death, not life, not anything.

Slowly, Karura exhaled and cursed the village, her spirit left her body, and settled on the blood soaked sand beneath her.

That was the first time the sand moved on it's own, and fear enveloped Sunagakure.

No matter what the sand followed the baby. Invisible and unnoticed until the child tripped or was threatened. It had to be the demon, did it not? What else could control the sand so, but the tanuki?

No one saw the baby at night, when the newborn supposedly slept. None knew of the softest of the grains would converge and rock the crying child, reaching for a milk bottle and offering it tentatively. It was in this way the sand fulfilled its need of love, for the curse was not entirely hate. Of course the boy did not remember this. He tried not to think about the sand much; it was too painful.

* * *

For the first time in years light yellow grains separated from the hard minerals and settled like a blanket on the boy. He clutched at his heart, staring at nothing. Before long his small pale hand came up and stroked the sand. "I can only love myself, and only trust the sand..."

The sand whirled in excitement. Then paused, something was different. Something had woken up in its child. The tanuki. The sand trashed in frustration. That raccoon, was talking to her baby and posing as her. When she herself could not communicate with words, that bloodthirsty monster was comforting her Gaara. Sand began to blend with her own, no doubt at the wishes of the psychotic raccoon.

The sand thrashed once more before resuming the usual whisping streams. The raccoon's sand then would mimic it. The thought to rest occurred to the sand. It would rest. For now, her son would be watched over by the demon and the village would know true fear. The vibes that the foreign sand gave out informed her of that much.

Karura's spirit began to drain away to a place few ever came back from, but the sand would be back. The sand could feel her protection would be needed again someday. She would return in the future, and help her child once again. The sand would always be with him and he the sand. Gaara. The child she loved with all her soul, and the village she hated just as much would see the unforgiving, always watchful, sand again. When that happened there would be hell to pay; for her... sand was an entirely different entity.

END.


	7. The Family Technique

**The Family Technique  
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson**

Ino stepped into the family flower shop and shut the door behind her. The "closed" sign didn't even shift as she leaned against the doorframe, her breath coming in quick gasps. If someone looked closely, they might see the wet streaks slowly traveling down her smooth cheeks. She staggered to the counter, and her gaze shifted to the flowers.

They were everything she was supposed to be; thin and pretty. Ino hated them. The wooden counter creaked under the pressure Ino's grip exerted, squeezing it in replacement of what it wanted to choke. Her eyes glared at the many plants, some of them not even alive, but forever frozen by the preservative liquid within their vases. Purple irises grew in the corner, roses bunched in stands to attract lovers eyes, and Ino hated them all. She despised being in this store, the house, anything _that woman_ touched.

Pain bit into her torso and Ino winced. She pushed herself up and shuffled to the back, hoping to make it upstairs to the house proper before she passed out. It was all _that woman's_ fault. Ino moved doggedly up the stairs and to her room, gracelessly falling onto her soft and oh-so-girly bed. Positioned above it was her team photo, the day they had been told the group had passed the 'survival training'. Shikamaru was staring up at the sky, Asuma-sensei was smiling with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and Chouji was caught raising a chip to his mouth. Ino herself was smiling and posing like the girl _that woman_ always wanted. But the rest were so natural. They were always happy and themselves, unlike her. The superficial blonde.

If it were real, this would be the perfect group of friends, she thought. Much better than Sakura. Sakura Haruno was everything _that woman_ wanted Ino to be, and Sakura was who everyone thought her best friend was. But it wasn't true. Ino used to like the girl, Sakura was sweet and caring and had never been afraid to show her feelings. She was also so pretty; even her name suggested beauty. Unlike Ino. _That woman_ was constantly nagging the blonde about that, telling her to work harder. How much harder could she work? She wanted to be ninja! Not some flower shop girl with dozens of boyfriends...she wanted to be like her dad. But _that woman_ didn't seem to care. She only saw what she wanted to see, and that was Ino the princess. Not the girl who only enrolled in the Academy just to be close to Sasuke-kun. If all the other ladies girls were going to spend time with the last Uchiha, why not Ino? It wasn't fair.

Ino watched the shadows move across the framed picture, and it made her think of Shikamaru. She would never tell them, for _that woman_ would never allow it, but he and Chouji were her true best friends. They actually cared. Ino hugged her pillow and tried to fall asleep, but now that she was ready it wouldn't come. Her stomach ached and she groaned thinking of Chouji. It wasn't his fault watching the boy was torture. She knew he would have given her something if she asked. The Akamichi was so nice, Ino sometimes thought he would make a good boyfriend if _that woman_ would give up and leave her alone.

Ino cried into the fluffy pillow. She went to his house a few times, and saw that both his parents cared about him. After introductions they even showered her with kindness. Ino drooled at the thought of all the food Mrs. Akamichi had offered her. She had taken a little to be polite, but her knowledge of _that woman_ waiting made her decline from the five pound turkey and baked yams. Chouji so was lucky; Ino envied him.

Ino decided two hours was enough rest and rose. She sat in front of her vanity with a brush and began her hundred strokes. Sakura was lucky; her hair had been cut short. Yet another reason to loath the pink haired tramp. Finished, Ino put her hair up and looked at her reflection. Eyes: pale blue, skin: slightly pale and ridiculously long white-blonde hair. That was Ino. She jerked her head at the sound of the shop door jingling open.

It had to be _that woman_, as her father could open the door as Ino did without a sound. "Ino-chan!" called a very feminine voice. Ino cursed. She was early. Ino had been hoping to get something before she returned, but had been too exhausted after training to retrieve anything. "Ino-chan! Come over here."

"Yes, mother!" Ino yelled back. She hated _that woman_. Ino knew once she got downstairs it would begin again. The lectures, the looks, the Technique, Ino hated the Technique the most. Her father, bless his soul, had no idea about what went on and she was going to keep it that way. He taught her much more useful moves than the harpy down stairs ever would. No doubt if he knew...there would be a divorce, and people would talk, and so many would worry. Ino couldn't bear that. Her friends would always be watching after that, and nothing would ever be the same. If only there was a way...

"Ino-chan? Have you eaten today?" Her mother asked as she put away the groceries for supper.

"No." Ino answered with a little hesitation.

"Are you sure? I saw you and those boys at that restaurant today. The big one," she trailed off and struggled with an obscenely large jar of mayo. "Your father is always talking about his adventures with that boy's father, you know. It looked like he needed to lay off the grub. Poor kid's parents don't know what's happing to him."

_No, his parents are great. They're wonderful people. You're the crazy one. _Ino put the bread away, careful not to drool over it. Her mother bustled around while talking about how happy her husband would be with the feast she was going to make him. _Why is it boys are allowed to eat so much? Why can't I enjoy the meal? Why must we torture ourselves like this?_

"Ino, I know you try. I really do, but even I can't resist being in a restaurant that cooks the food right in front of you. So get to it." The woman pulled a plastic bucket from under the sink and offered it to the girl.

"But I didn't eat anything."

"Don't lie to me! I won't have an obese daughter! Those boys must be rubbing off on you. Why couldn't you have stayed friends with that Sakura? She was such a good influence. Such a young flower; she could attract boys like bee's if she wanted."

Ino felt her face flush in defeat and anger. The girl hated flowers, especially cherry blossoms. She leaned over the bucket and used the only thing her mother had ever taught her. It was an 'art form' passed down through the women of her family her mother once said. It had to be executed with precision and accuracy, or her hair would smell terrible for the rest of the week.

Eyes shut tight; Ino inserted two fingers into the back of her mouth. Her other hand held her stomach which convulsed as the gag reflex took over. About a cup of stomach acid and bits of meat spilled into the plastic container.

"I knew it. Look at that. You know what those greasy foods will do to your skin," the adult sighed in exasperation. Ino bowed her head. Luckily years of practice at the move had truly turned it into an art. The vomit ejected out at such an angle that the stuff never touched her tongue. After taste wasn't a problem for the women in her family. "Oh. My poor baby. You go on upstairs and rest. I'll tell your father you weren't feeling well and decided to skip supper."

Ino shook as she ascended up to the second story. Sitting on her bed, she cried. Tears dropped to the carpet and landed on a spare kunai peeking out from under her bed. The blade shined innocently up at her.

END.


	8. Politicaly Inclined

**Politically Inclined**

**Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs **

**and cutting hair. - George Burns **

"Sasuke Uchiha." The name rolled off the white-eyed girl's tongue like something slimy. Anger burned through her as she thought about the traitorous boy. A quick death was way too good for him. Hinata's face heated while she sketched ideas for torture devices.

"Maaaa, Ramen..." Hinata glanced up from her drawings at the sleepy mumblings of the blonde boy in the bed next to her. She giggled and watched him turn in the hospital bed, sighing in the pleasure of being in the same room as him. Hinata flipped to a fresh page and began a new picture with the bandaged boy as her model. Hinata didn't have to look at Naruto to get him right, but she did anyway; letting her hands work nearly by themselves. _Naruto-kun, you're so beautiful. So powerful. You are everything I want to be and more._

The Hyuuga girl floated in a sea of bliss as she sat in the disinfectant smelling room. Her idol/love rolled over and would have tumbled off the bed had he not tangled himself in the sheets. Hinata giggled at the still-sleeping-boy's balancing act as she shaded in the last bit of her artwork. "Ne...Sasuke-teme..." came a pained mumble from the blonde.

Hinata's fingers froze just as they were about to sign the. The Uchiha was still causing grief, even after leaving them. Charcoal snapped between her slim, pale fingers. That was the last straw. Naruto would not be sad; she wouldn't allow it! Anything that got in the way of Naruto's happiness had to be exterminated. Hinata quietly rose and left the room so as not to disturb her – hopefully – future mate. The only thing indicating her presence was a small, detailed, drawing sitting in the guest chair. It was a good drawing and it would leave many wondering who did it. On the paper was an older Naruto wearing an informal kimono, sleeping on a windowsill. Next to him, an older Hinata knelt on the floor holding a large book.

Soon after Hinata left a nurse came in to check up on the hospitalized Naruto. Her bunned head bobbed up and down as she hummed, taking a look at her halfway-on-the-floor patient. "So troublesome." She shifted around his head to the heart-monitoring machines to make sure they were functioning. The nurse glanced over at the recently vacated visitors chair and did a double take. "Hey, that's pretty good but they got the hair all wrong. Why would someone leave a picture of the fourth for the demon?" The nurse asked herself and continued her rounds, oblivious to the sad blue eyes watching her back.

* * *

Hinata strode purposely down the hallway on her way to Kiba's room. Tucked under one arm was a thick folder that she guarded jealously as she glared at the people staring after her. The observers shivered at the short haired girl's unusual coldness. Her blank eyes promised never ending pain to those who dared impede her self-appointed mission. Many of the nurses and doctors scattered from the floor, quickly trying to regain what dignity they thought they had.

The revenge-craving girl paused at the door to compose herself. She would not make a mistake; mistakes now were unthinkable. Her first lesson in diplomacy had been _"to know thy enemy"_, and she knew Kiba well enough. Hinata crossed the threshold to Kiba Inuzuka's recovery room. He was sitting up, with his middle heavily wrapped in bandages. Akamaru was sleeping in his lap. "Hinata?" Kiba grinned when he caught the sent of his adopted sister.

The Hyuuga smiled. "I'm g-glad you will b-be okay K-Kiba-kun."

Kiba grimaced. "But, Akamaru was still hurt...how are the others?"

Hinata looked down at the folder in her lap. Blood rushed to her cheeks. _No Hinata! Focus! Focus! Focus! _"C-chouji-kun and Neji-san are in c-critical c-condition, but I b-b-believe they will pull through. S-shikamaru-san is tired and h-has a broken f-finger. Lee-san has a hangover, and N-naruto-k-kun h-hasn't woken u-up yet."

"Damn...what about the mission?"

"F-failed."

Kiba growled to himself and muttered about no-good traitors. His hand strayed to where his best friend rested, and came into contact with Hinata's own. He looked up and was surprised to see Hinata looking at him directly, albeit with a bright red face. "Kiba-kun. There's something I have to talk to you about." She swallowed her nervousness. The lectures had their uses, if not for the same way her father wanted. "It's about Naruto-kun."

Kiba blinked. It was the first time he ever heard her say anything with out a stutter. "What is it?" Kiba prayed his teammate wasn't about to inform him Naruto would be a vegetable for life.

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed how most grown-ups don't like Naruto-kun for some reason; there was that time on the 12th of May..." And Hinata continued her speech with nary a stutter, occasionally taking out some form of documented evidence from her folder and passing it over. She spoke slowly, and answered any questions the moment they were asked. She was patient, and her explanations and theories were solid. By the end of it Kiba was livid, as well as Akamaru who had woken up halfway. "Kiba-kun? Can we trust you?"

The dog user grinned in a way that accentuated his animalistic features. It was plain scary. "Sure thing Hinata-chan. Always." Hinata hugged him before she left. One down.

* * *

"Shikamaru-san, can I talk to you for a minute?" Hinata tapped her index fingers together and looked out a window. Her cheeks were darkening as she requested time from the lazy chuunin.

"Eh?" Shikamaru replied bored, but on the inside he was interested. A non-stuttering Hinata didn't occur everyday. "I suppose..." He made a show of laboriously pushing off the wall and motioning for the Hyuuga to lead. Hinata stepped forward and continued down the hall, carefully avoiding the more frequented paths. Shikamaru stared up at the ceiling to count tiles as they walked.

"It's about Naruto-kun." That little declaration caught the lazy shadow-users interest in an iron grip. He slowed down; a look of concentration replacing his normally bored one.

"Did something happen to him?"

Hinata shook her head causing her longer bangs to slap her nose cutely. _So Shikamaru-san cares about Naruto-kun more than just a__s a__ friendly acquaintance. _"No. But there could be. How much do you know about the Kyuubi?" She flipped past most of the files on individual attacks and located the few papers she had stolen about the Nine-tales attack. These officially blacked-out papers passed into Shikamaru's apprehensive hands. He didn't like troublesome things upsetting his world, and this was proving to be troublesome.

"I always thought there was something strange about the way the adults looked at him." The Nara observed as his eyes speed through the sheets and handed them back. Hinata carefully replaced them and slipped out few she had shown Kiba earlier.

"Shikamaru-san, how do feel about the village?" The girl slipped her hands down just enough so that Shikamaru's observant eyes could catch the reports of abuse. He didn't visibly show any signs of stress, but Hinata knew she had hit a nerve. Neji could take in someone's reactions and decipher their mental state, but Hinata had trained with Kiba and Shino. The former Hyuuga heiress had learned a few tricks to enhance her smell and hearing to a few steps below the Inuzuka clans. She could faintly hear his pulse speed up. _Go in for the kill, before they think of an alternative. _"Shikamaru-san, do you know why they do this? Is it right for them to leave us in the dark? Without knowing, isn't all information important?" She questioned.

Shikamaru knew there was a good chance that Hinata had been planning this confrontation for a while, and he was playing right into it. Why else would the girl carry a packet of condemning evidence with her? She had to have known about Naruto's curse for months, or perhaps even years. Still, Shikamaru couldn't deny his feelings with the logic presented by the cunning girl before him. He always did have a soft spot for girls. "No. I think this place could use a change."

Hinata's face bloomed into full tomato glory as she clutched the think manila folder to her chest. "Yes. Change is good." The girl left to find her next victim, and Shikamaru watched the sky out the window. He idly wondered just what he had agreed to. Hinata's second lesson had been to know everything about the subject.

* * *

Hinata wandered the halls of the hospital in a daze. She knew that if she kept at it, eventually every one she sought would show up, so many were hospitalized. Ino was sitting nervously in the waiting room, her feet tapping against the cold tiles impatiently. Hinata turned ideas over in her mind for several second before sliding over to the Yamanka. "Ino-san, how is Chouji-kun doing?"

Ino jumped and turned to the other girl, her eyes focusing slowly. "Ummm. They say he's stable now, but still needs constant attention. I-I-I" Ino choked up and stared straight ahead at the locked double doors. No one was allowed in while the medics did their job.

Soft arms lightly embraced the blonde girl to give comfort. "So everything's going to be okay. By the way... how did you know that, Ino-san? I used my byakugan earlier but..."

Ino stiffed and a small smile graced her teary eyes. "If you won't tell anyone," Hinata made the other girl pinky promise. This brought down her reservations even farther. "I mind switched with one of the medics in there for a few seconds. Their chakra is easy to pinpoint with them using so much."

"Amazing..." _No how do I broach the subject? _Hinata took in the taller girls dress, and the bandages. Why did she wear bandages, and so many layers of them? What purpose did they serve? Hinata had been taught to find common ground, if at all possible. _Perhaps... _"Ino-san, Sasuke-teme is a real jerk."

"Eh?!" Ino pushed back in mild shock. Since when did Hinata use the term 'teme' with anyone? Even when Neji was beating the life out of her she still called him brother. "Hinata-chan?"

Hinata fisted her hands on her knees, shaking. "He betrayed his teammates, I know that you know the importance of teamwork, right Ino-san? He left of his own accord. This village may not be the greatest thing since sliced bread, but what gives him the right to do that? Our friends are hurt because of him!"

"I know how you feel Hinata-chan. I used to think Sasuke was so cool; he had everything. The talent, looks, and fame. Everything. But now... for what he did to Chouji... I want to rip his face off. Ironic, ne?" Ino waved a hand dismissively and hung her head.

"Sasuke-teme. It feels better call him Sasuke-teme. Try it."

"Sasuke... teme." Ino paused, as if tasting the words. "Sasuke-teme. I like it."

"He is a real bastard you know. I don't like it that my friends are hurt. I would kill people that hurt my friends." _And maybe more than friends?_ Hinata's face heated up as she sunk into her coat.

"Yeah. There are a few people who I wouldn't mind seeing dead." Ino sighed and leaned back. She was getting tired, both emotionally and physically. The building had plenty of beds; she could easily just curl up in one. Her mother wouldn't be able to harp at her if she napped here.

Hinata tugged the blonde's sleeve. "Ino-chan? Do you ever make lists of those people?"

"No, I'd be too worried about someone finding it and calling the men in white coats."

"I-I have a l-list. Would y-you like t-to see i-it?" Hinata suddenly slipped back into stutters. Her hands fumbled with the elastic bands on the folder. She pulled out photocopies of notebook pages and offered them.

Ino curiously took the slip and read through it. She snorted at a few names, nodded at others, but froze at one. "Hinata-chan, my mother is on this list."

"And?"

Ino watched the girl. She was beat red, but didn't appear to be falsifying anything. The Yamanaka closed her eyes and thought about her parent. "Hinata-chan. Do you ever plan to make this list..."

"I already have."

"Ah. Well, please remember, I want to be there when mother kicks the bucket."

Hinata smiled shyly and stood up, taking her list with her as she left. "Of course Ino-san. You're welcome to do the honors." Ino sat there with a dazed look on her face, her hands clenching and unclenching as she imagined a kunai in them.

* * *

Hinata was swinging happily on the wooden seat that formerly belong to Naruto. She was waiting for school to let out. The girl pumped her legs to gain height, ascending to the point where the swing's ropes go slack for an instant before crashing back down with a jerk. It jarred Hinata's teeth when the downward fall reached its peak, but she didn't care. The ride was somewhat exhilarating.

"Hinata-chan! You're so high!" Came the distinct voice of a small boy Hinata met only once with Naruto. She recognized him despite that, following her love around made her well acquainted with his friends. She frowned slightly and came to stop. It was sad his best friends were years younger than him.

"Good afternoon, Konohamaru-kun, Udon-kun, Moegi-chan."

"Morning Hinata-chan!" They chorused automatically. Moegi bounced over to the ninja saying things about make-up and hair. Hinata smiled and answered their questions. How was Naruto-nii-san? Were there any cool missions? What shampoo do you use?

"Konohamaru-kun. Slow down. I need to tell you all something about Naruto, but the adults won't like it." She whispered conspiratorially. The children soaked up any information about the loud genin eagerly, and dragged Hinata around the building.

"Ne, Naruto-nii-san showed us this place. The teachers never ever check here." Moegi clapped happily and pushed aside some bushes leading to a cellar door.

Udon wiped his nose. "It's a storm-cellar. It used to lead to the evacuation tunnels before it path collapsed. I think everyone has forgotten about it since then."

They group of four sat in a circle on the ground. To always present the information in your favor was her forth lesson. "What I'm about to say is a big secret. If anyone found out I told you, I could loose my head. Konohamaru-kun, you remember how Ebisu treated Naruto when you two met?" At Konohamaru's nod she continued. "Many of the villagers are worse. They hate him. They would do anything to get rid of him. Anything. He almost died on a mission to retrieve Sasuke Uchiha who became a missing-nin. You remember him?"

Moegi spoke up. "Why do they want to hurt Naruto-nii-san? He hasn't done nothing!"

"That's exactly it. He hasn't done a thing, but the creature he holds has. The villagers just use it as an excuse to take out their anger on him."

"What's inside him?" Konohamaru asked.

"The nine-tailed fox demon. The fourth sealed it in Naruto to save Konoha, and they hate him for it. That's not fair is it?"

The three shook their heads no. Hinata let them stew for a few minutes. "I just wanted you to know, so that when we fight back, you will know why."

"You're going to attack the ones who hurt Nii-san? That's great! Meanies should be punished!" Moegi yelled enthusiastically.

Konohamaru growled out, "I wish we could help. Naruto-nii-san only ever tries to help us and others. They don't deserve to live in Konoha if they're going to be so mean."

"I agree entirely." Hinata stood up to leave, bending over so her head didn't touch the ceiling. As she left the three conversing students, she couldn't help but daydream of the future. Hinata Hyuuga went to find her next targets.

END.


	9. Told You So

**Told You So  
Chapter dedicated to Fayte Angel  
One of the secrets of life if to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks. - Jack Penn**

"Kakashi-kun!"

A silver-haired four-and-a-half year old groaned as his mom called him. He rolled onto his stomach and pressed the pillow down on his head. Muffled footsteps thudded against the wood flooring betraying how close the woman was to her offspring. The boy shrank into himself as the woman banged pots and pans above his head.

"Time to get up Kakashi-kun! Get dressed! Today's the day!" Memori sung cheerfully. She skipped around the room, turning on lights and forcing open windows.

"Kaaaa-saaaaan," The half-asleep boy slurred. "It's five in the morning."

"Exactly! It takes you a good hour to wake up, then another to dress and eat. By the time you are ready for school, you'll only have ten minutes to get there."

"But school doesn't start 'till nine..." Kakashi murmured and groped for another pillow to help block out the light.

"Nonsense! The Ninja Academy starts at six fifteen! Get crack'n." The woman grasped the sheets and yanked. Kakashi tumbled out of bed head first onto the floor. He swayed into an upright position while rubbing at the goosebumps covering his arms.

"Ninja Academy?" He asked and tried to walk forward. Memories of the previous week slowly leaked into his brain. He recalled his parents arguing; his father said he didn't need to go to pre-school when his mom wanted him to be with kids his own age. In the end Sakumo Hatake won when he pointed out that not every four year old could hit a target with a kunai nine times out of ten.

"Yes, I can't believe you forgot. Breakfast will be on the table when you're ready." Kakashi's mom commented as she gathered her kitchenware turned drumset. The silver headed boy nodded slowly as he crashed into the bathroom door. "And for heaven's sake WAKE UP!"

Two and a half hours later, Kakashi Hatake and Memori Hatake were sitting down to breakfast. The mother of the pair poured syrup onto her many pancakes and observed her child. He was shoveling eggs into his mouth a rate that would make most etiquette teachers fall over dead. "Kakashi-kun, you need to slow down or you could choke."

"Buh I dun wunna beh late fur school." He forced out around bulging cheeks.

"Well, what would your father think if I told him his only son ate himself to death?" She pushed her chair back and rose, taking the plates with her. The dishwasher gurgled to life as the woman filled it. Memori bumped the machine with her hip to close it and flipped open a brown paper bag. "Let's see apple, sandwich, chips... Kakashi-kun, do you want apple juice or milk?"

"Apple juice!" The youngster called out. He rushed to his room, grabbed his backpack, and hurried to the front door. His mother stood waiting in the doorway, the early morning light forming a shimmering halo around her hair. She knelt down and offered the lunch which he accepted with a peck on the cheek. "Thanks Kaa-san."

"Kakashi Hatake! You are forgetting something." She said sternly with arms crossed. Kakashi scowled cutely. He had hoped he could get away without it this morning.

"What is it Kaa-san?"

"Your mask." She pulled the black material from an apron pocket with a smile. All her anger had disappeared as if it had never been.

"Do I have to?" Kakashi pleaded with the infamous puppy-eyes. His mother broke. Years of living with the boy's father had built up a strong immunity to the look, but Kakashi was still young and still had the whole 'chibi' effect working for him. Memori was no match for it.

"I suppose not, but you will regret it." She sighed. Memories of his father's first day still haunted her. She remembered when the white haired boy entered the room, and how nearly every girl turned on one another to sit next to him. Of course I was smarter, just had to pretend to be a boy to get the spot. Tee-hee.

"Yes!" He ran out the door with a spring in his step.

* * *

Kakashi arrived on the school grounds five minutes early. It was the last time he was ever early, for fear of the female heyenas lurking in wait. The boy breezed through the courtyard and observed the other ninjas-to-be. By the far wall, two boys who looked similar with white eyes were talking, and a creepy kid around his own age with a bowl cut was watching them from behind some bushes. When the Hatake turned to avoid the crazy boy, he distinctly heard what sounded like the tune to a bad spy movie being whistled.

As he turned his attention to the rest of the class, he broke out in a sweat. Over half his classmates -the female ones- were staring at him with googly eyes. "He's so CUTE!" A random blonde girl squealed only to be mimicked by her classmates. The seven and eight year olds stalked towards the now panicking boy with predator-like grins on their faces. Kakashi started backing up, and cursed when he was stopped by the only tree in the entire yard. He imagined the way their fingers would feel as they pinched his sensitive cheeks. Why didn't I listen to dad's old horror stories? These must be the fan-girls from hell!

"Alright you shrimps, line up!"

Kakashi relaxed as the girls reluctantly drifted away. Saved by the teacher. He quickly pushed off the bark and squeezed between two boys to guard against any over-zealous girls. The principal, a jounin, droned on about Konoha shinobi pride in the orientation speech and Kakashi could physically feel each of the dozen pairs of eyes watching him. It was unnerving.

Ten minutes later, they broke up into five official classes to go inside. Kakashi nervously gripped a practice kunai in his pocket while keeping pace with the two boys from earlier. One wore a coat with a high collar that hid his lower face and tinted glasses. The other wore loose black pants and a dark blue shirt. Both were equipped with kunai and shuriken holsters.

"Hey, you don't mind if I sit with you guys?" Kakashi asked them. He could hear the girls squabbling about who got to sit next to the 'baby-face genius'. Chills went down his spine at the thought of being stuck at a table with those hell-girls. Cost boy just shook his head in a negative and the other grunted noncommittally.

Choosing a table three tiers up, Kakashi plopped down between the two older boys and attempted to ignore the devastated looks cast by the females. Fan-girls from hell! What I would give for that kids coat right now. I bet you can just sink into it and disappear...

The man sitting at the font desk slammed down book causing everyone to jump. Except for the coat-wearing-boy who was starting to creep Kakashi out, though not as much as the slavering girls. "Quiet down, I'll be your chunin teacher for the rest of the year. You can call me Kyo-sensei. Now today we'll be introducing ourselves. Likes, dislikes, whatever. This is mandatory and I'll be building the roll from what you tell me. Understood?"

"Hai Kyo-sensei!" The class chorused.

"Right then," The red haired teacher jabbed his pen at the first seat on the far right. "You with the weird-ass hair, go first."

A girl stood up and scowled at the teacher. She resembled some sort of wild animal with her long brown spikes of hair and red face paint. Kakashi recognized her as one of the few that didn't call him cute. "Tsume Inuzuka. I like my partner," she nodded to the medium sized dog crouched under the desk. "I dislike cats."

Kakshi sat on his hands and waited his turn. It wouldn't be long, but he didn't want the hell-girls, as he now called them, to know his name. They might start watching his house. No! I can't let that happen!

Now regretting asking his mom to leave behind the family mask, Kakshi jumped up. He only let the coat wearing boy to get as far as his 'Aburame' before announcing himself. "Name's Hatake." The teacher snickered. He knew what was going on all right. "I like GUYS, and dislike GIRLS." He scanned the room as he said this and watched several girls faint at the news. Just like he planned. "Thank you."

Next to him the black and blue dressed boy stood up with a sly smile. "Uchiha. I like boys as well." He said meaningfully while sneaking looks at Kakashi. The few remaining girls swooned as a dramatic 'Nooooo!' burst from those awake. The rest of the class period was spent using different combinations of smelling salts on the fainted girls. Kyo-sensei called it learning through trail and error.

* * *

Kakashi rolled out of bed at his mother's loud approach the next morning. Successfully hidden under the bed, Memori Hatake couldn't find and harass the boy into wakefulness. The brunette woman tossed her pots aside in disappointment and shuffled around searching for her child. Meanwhile Kakashi slept among the dust bunnies and lost socks for another hour.

At long last he was ready to go, and twenty minutes late, but refusing to exit the house. "Kakashi-kun! Get going!" The woman growled as she tried to drag her son out the door. His fingers held the doorframe with the strength of a desperate man.

"My mask! I need it!" He cried. "I'm sorry I always said it was a stupid tradition!"

Memori toppled backwards with a laugh. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. "Is THAT what this is about? Ah, my poor, poor Kakashi-kun. Here." He snatched the soft dark mask and slipped it over his head. Memori chuckled at her son's state and leaned over, gently tugging silver strands free. She helped roll the bottom out and tucked it under his shirt. "There. Now give me kiss."

He leaped up and kissed her through the material; it was so soft and light he sometimes forgot the mask was there.

Kakashi pulled out a novel he purloined form his mothers stash as he came up on the Shinobi School. He flipped it open to the middle and positioned it to conceal his eyes. He nudged his classroom door open with his foot and stepped in.

Kyo-sensei looked up sharply and was about to berate the boy when he saw the title of his book. Moonlit Paradise? All thoughts of detention flew from the instructors head as he pondered the latest turn of events.

Without looking up Kakashi climbed the stairs to his former seat. "My name is Kakashi. I like some things and dislike others. Sorry I'm late, but I got lost on the road of life."

The chunin just waved him off. "Whatever."

A victorious smile was hidden by the black fabric. Now I just have to graduate before those fan-girls realize it's me. Hmmm. Wonder what it is that mom reads... 'and she stroked his...' WTF!

END.


	10. Politicaly Inclined Part 2

**Politically Inclined  
Part 2  
A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. - Anonymous**

Hinata pulled a leaf from her hair as she stepped into her old school. The cool air was comforting in its familiarity, and the girl nervously fiddled with her packet. She paused at a classroom door and removed several photocopies from the file. The sound of pencils scratching and children grumbling could be heard from the room. Hinata smiled. _Iruka-sensei is always the same._

Her pale hands pushed the door aside noiselessly and she stepped in. The chunin didn't look up from his papers, so absorbed as he was in the deciphering of near illegible handwriting. Hinata crept up to one of the desks and waited. Iruka sighed and made a large red circle at the top of the test. "How many times do I have to tell him that Sexy no Jutsu doesn't count as an incapacitating technique?" The brunette asked himself.

"E-excuse m-me. Iruka-Sensei?" Hinata whispered from her seat. It was a good thing that she decided to sit in the front row and not her usual place in the back, or else the chunin wouldn't have heard her.

"Hinata-chan? How are you!" Iruka forgot his work and stood up smiling. He approached his former student grateful for the distraction. She seemed to wilt under the scrutiny, her eyes lowered and her finger nervously traced spirals on the manila folder. Iruka noticed the packet Hinata was surreptitiously drawing attention to. He asked curiously, "What have you got there?"

"U-um... I-It's-" She started stuttering out, though this time the hesitant speech was intentional.

Iruka rubbed the back of his head. "Hey, it's okay if you don't want to tell me. Did you need something? I'll be glad to help." The brunette said as he pulled out the chair next to Hinata's seat. He knew about the 'family' problems of the Hyuuga; it was inevitable with him teaching at least one every year, and was worried about the shy girl. She was the type to keep everything bottled up, even as it ate her from inside.

His eyes wandered from the downcast girl to the packet of unknown papers. Growing up alone and somewhat forgotten made Iruka into an individual with a need to protect and care for others. It was part of the reason he warmed up to Naruto so quickly and why he spoke out when the jounin were recommending their teams. Iruka froze, his mind coming up with the worst case scenario for the situation. _Hinata-chan wasn't raped was she? Does her father beat her? That would make sense with that coat she's always wearing. Oh my god! This must be evidence from all the years of abuse! Calm down Iruka! I_ _have to let Hinata come out on her own. Kill her father later. _

"I-Iruka-sensei, you l-look scary." Hinata said when she looked back up. Her former teacher's eyes burned with an intensity she had never seen before, and a brace of kunai were held lightly in one hand. She never saw him move. The Plan was working better than she ever imagined.

"What? Sorry Hinata-chan. Just thinking." He blushed and put the weapons away, forcing all thoughts of maiming to the side.

Hinata pushed her complied papers across the chunin. "I-I just wanted to a-ask you a-about N-Naruto-kun," she paused to swallow. "I was looking through some files in the village police office, and I noticed these reports. But none of the people have been found and jailed, why is that Iruka-sensei?"

"Why were you looking through the files in the police office?" He picked up the files and flipped through them, frowning the further he got. "These are pretty serious crimes of assault and battery, some of them dating back even before the downsizing of that branch... looks like the victim didn't have enough physical evidence for the state to press charges in his name, and the guardians didn't want to do it themselves."

"But Iruka-sensei, how can someone not have scars from a knife going completely through their stomach? They would have to have an incredibly enhanced healing rate. I didn't think such a thing was possible, unless it's a bloodline."

The wheels in the chunin's head started burning rubber, making connections and dredging up everything he knew about all his students. Only one blonde haired boy fit the profile. No matter how bad the bruise or cut, Naruto had always healed freakishly fast. Iruka saw red. "Hinata-chan. Why have all the names in these reports been left out? I think I would like to... to interview... the criminals."

Hinata started tapping her fingers together. "Well, see, the thing is, if justice was to be delivered now, it would be difficult. There would be paperwork to be filled out, and the possibility of someone coming to stop it. And I think it is only fair for the victim to know it happened."

"Right. You will tell me when you get the names ready, Hinata-chan. I'll just finish grading these papers." Iruka gathered his work and tapped the sheets against the table. He stored them in a scroll and waved good-bye to the short-haired girl.

Hinata activated her byakugan and tracked the chunin out into the street. He wasn't rushing off on his own, or headed to the Hokage tower to warn other ninja's of her revenge. _I was right. Iruka-sensei does care about us... like a father should. It's a good thing I blacked out the names, or he no doubt would have prematurely started the cleansing. _

The girl sniffled a bit. As she left the school building and headed for home, Hinata wondered what kind of Hokage Iruka would make. He would always put the shinobi first. The man had always been patient with her during the academy, a novel experience for the pressured girl. If Iruka-sensei was a Kage, he would rewrite the definition. "A Kage doesn't have to be the strongest or smartest of the village. A Kage should be the ninja that takes care of the others. Like the father or grandpa of all shinobi. I would like a village like that." Hinata mumbled to herself as the lights went out in her room.

* * *

Two days later Hinata found herself back at the hospital. Neji and Chouji had finally woken up and were allowed visitors, though they were still confined to their beds. Neji was first on her list of people to visit. He would require the least effort, as he believed that he owed Naruto.

Hinata smiled as she signed her name on the log at the front desk. The nurse in charge, some slim woman with round glasses, waved her through with barely a glance at her name. It was rare that a civilian would question a Hyuuga, or another ninja for that matter. Hinata bowed to the secretary and proceeded to her cousin's room. Her arrival was noticed by the occupants of the room when her heels scuffed along the cold tiles. _Lee-san is here too? _

"G-Good Morning, Neji-nii-san. Lee-san." Hinata rolled a lily between her thumb and forefinger, waiting. She hoped Neji wouldn't feel upset about her arrival. He was still a bit hard to figure out since his defeat.

"Good Morning Hinata-sama." He inclined his head to her and pointed toward the flower vase on the windowsill. There were already three other flowers in the container and she mused that the lily would look nice next to the two violets and solitary yellow rose. .

"Morning Hinata-san! Have you come to use your youth to help our friend recover!" Lee asked energetically. _Fix his hair, change his clothes, and he could almost pass for a relative of Naruto-kun. Almost. No one can match my Naruto-kun._

"Y-yes?" She looked in askance at Neji, who had a mildly annoyed look on his face. Hinata giggled at the thought of him smacking Lee on the back of the head to shut him up. Sadly Neji was a Hyuuga and would never display such behavior. "Um, Neji-nii-kun, I would like you to take a look at this."

Neji accepted the files and read through them, his countenance becoming darker as he read. Hinata sat in the chair and waited. She didn't have to say a word, her cousin wasn't called a genius for nothing. His ruthless attitude would suit her purposes. He didn't balk at killing her in the preliminaries, or at injuring himself on the recent mission. If he decided retribution was needed, he would do his best to help.

Lee just looked between the Hyuuga girl, boy, and the files that he had trouble reading from his vantage point. He whispered to Hinata, an act that could be heard throughout the room anyway. "Psst. Hinata-san, what are those? Why does Neji look like he's going to break something?"

The longhaired boy glanced up at his cousin. "And where did you get these, Hinata-sama?"

She blushed. "W-well I j-just walked into t-the p-police s-station and w-w-went to the file room. When they saw that I was a Hyuuga, no questions were asked. I think they felt intimidated without any Uchiha's around."

"That would make sense." He remarked coldly.

"I was hoping you would like to join us..."

"What are you two talking about?" Lee shouted, upset at being left out of the loop.

Hinata took her packet back from Neji and turned to the green garbed boy. "Lee-san, the thing is-"

"If I may explain it, Hinata-sama. I think I know him better."

"Okay..." She left the room to find Chouji. Neji could handle it. He was good at turning his teammates to his point of view. _I've almost got everyone. I was so worried that I might have to silence someone who didn't want to go along but... everything is working out just fine! It won't be long now Naruto-kun! Justice will be served!_

_

* * *

_

"Good morning, Chouji-kun." Hinata smiled at the unusually slim boy. She deposited a basket of chips and dips on the table as an offering.

"Eh? Hinata-chan! Thanks for the food." He ripped open one of the bags and started eating, but only after asking if the girl would like some as well. _Ha! I get cute girls visiting too! _

"I'm glad you like them. I asked Ino what type of chips were your favorite." Hinata sat on the end of the bed and counted ceiling tiles to pass time while Chouji finished up the bag, and it didn't take long. The girl bit her lip and eyed her file. He was always nice to her, and everyone else for that matter; Chouji might not like the plan very much.

"You're a life-saver Hinata; hospital food is just terrible. Smells like feet, tastes like glue."

"You've eaten glue?" Hinata was shocked. She heard rumors an Akamichi could eat _anything_, but glue? The look on her face must have transferred her thoughts because the boy started laughing, but coughed half-way through. "Chouji-kun, are you okay?"

Hinata hovered around him, nervous about what to do. "I-I'm fine. Just a little cold. My body hasn't fully recovered from the pills effects. My immune system is kinda iffy," He smiled widely at her. "But if you keep bringing me goodies like Ino and Shikamaru I'm sure I'll be back in a week, two weeks tops." He twisted open a can of sour-cream-and-onion dip to go with a bag of pizza-flavored potato chips.

"Then we will just have to do that. Then sooner you are back on your feet, the sooner we can start The Plan."

"What plan?"

Hinata blushed and her habit reared up. She wanted to rip heads off and throats out! She wanted to paint red warnings on Konoha's gates! But she couldn't, not yet. "Chouji, do ever feel like the adults ignore us? Like they're keeping something secret?"

Chouji popped another three chips in his mouth, thinking. He was by no means a genius, but he wasn't stupid. "Asuma-sensei doesn't really like training us. Normally he just gives us an assignment and smokes, leaving Shikamaru to explain what we're supposed to be doing. Why?"

"I plan to change that." Hinata stood up and waved her arms. She was on a roll. "I've been really thinking about the whole shinobi system the past few days, and things need to be fixed! For one, the ranking system is flawed. Did you know there are genin that could outwit and defeat a team of chunin, and in some cases a tokubetsu jounin! Chunin that can take out jounin are more common, if not well known. Why do we bother? What's so special about becoming jounin, or chunin? Ninja are ninja no matter what; we all accept the same risks. Some just get paid better." Hinata finished with a nod.

"But we don't take the same level missions. Genin are inexperienced; that is why we get paid less and do simple missions like pet finding and babysitting." Chouji answered. He was a bit confused by Hinata's outspoken behavior, but he thought it was good for her so didn't mention it.

_Perhaps it was too soon to come to Chouji-kun... but I don't want to hurt him. What do I know about Chouji? _Hinata shuffled through her papers. "How many times have you gone on a supposedly 'C' ranked mission only to find it jump up in level? How many B and A ranked missions have you completed, barely making it out?" She held up a mission report with a suspicious white-gray residue staining the bottom. "August 9th, mission to deliver unknown package to a household in the city of Takara. Rank: C. I remember when your team got back, Shikamaru was in bed for a week from chakra exhaustion and Ino's entire left arm was bandaged from burns. It was elevated to a high B. You still got paid for C.

"You probably didn't want to worry us, so you never said anything about it. Something similar happened to team seven. In an escort mission to Wave Country, the presence of one jounin missing-nin and two chunin elevated a simple C mission to A rank." Hinata separated a stack of mission reports from the abuse cases and held them out to Chouji.

The Akamichi skimmed over the reports, upset that his friends lives had been put into so much danger. He paused at one and stared at Hinata. "You guys did an S rank? Is that why your mission to Bird Country took three weeks longer than expected?"

Hinata's hands started shaking. She remembered that mission clearly, and still wanted to kill the ninja that had almost killed Kiba. "Yes. Kiba had to stay in the Bird Country hospital until he could travel. We were lucky Shino noticed the lack of bugs in the area. There was gas in that tunnel, if we had gone any deeper Kurenai-sensei said we would have been knocked out and killed in the explosion. When the tags went off Kiba and Akamaru used a reverse gatsuga to direct most of the flames and shrapnel toward them... the details are in the report."

"I don't know what to say." Chouji sighed and stared out the window. He played with a roll for a minute, wishing he could do something to make Hinata feel better.

The white-eyed girl stood up and walked to the door; she didn't move to retrieve the papers. They would work better as a reminder to Chouji of what he would be fighting for. "You know," Hinata paused halfway into the hallway. "Shikamaru agrees with the coup."

"Shikamaru..." Chouji trailed off as he watched her leave. _Shika's always been smart and he thinks this can work? So does that means it can? Is it right? _He stared at the mission reports in his hands. A rarely felt emotion – anger – woke some disturbing thoughts. _What were they thinking, sending us on a mission alone? I nearly died. Neji almost died. We ALL almost died! If the sand shinobi hadn't shown up when they did Kiba, Shikamaru, and Lee would be gone. Someone has to make up for this..._

_

* * *

_

The Hokage building was the center of ninja activity, everything from mission assignments to interrogations took place there. Hinata grinned in its impressive shadow. Glass doors swung open as she approached and two chunin exited, laughing. _Laugh while you can Keisha-san. Your time is coming._

"Hyuuga-san. Have you come for a mission?" The blonde female chunin asked when she caught sight of the girl.

"No. I just need to speak with Ibiki-san." She ducked around the women and into the building. The two chunin shared a look before shrugging it off. They didn't want to know what the Hyuuga were planning in conjunction with the torture and interrogation unit.

Hinata got directions from the front desk, nodded to Iruka who was handing out low level missions, and preceded downstairs. Despair was the theme of the underground rooms, though the more frequent visitors were not affected by the surroundings. Hinata soaked up the air like a sponge with her face heating with every step into the halls.

"E-excuse me, ANBU-san. Where could I find Ibiki-san?" Hinata stuttered out in excitement. The mask-less ANBU that had been flagged down glanced at her quizzically before answering.

"He's questioning a cloud shinobi in room thirty-four."

"Thank you." She bowed and rushed off. Two lefts and another right later, Hinata stood before the steel door to room thirty-four. The white-eyed girl stopped to admire the chakra signals etched in the door. They were preventing sound from escaping the chamber. _These will be useful in the future. _

Hinata knocked three times as protocol indicated before twisting the thick handle. As the ANBU had stated, her quarry was enjoying himself with the cloud spy. The foreign ninja was held down with thick chains and several slash marks decorated his form. Ibiki turned at her entrance and scoffed. "Genin don't belong down here. Put whatever you have on the far table, then leave." He faced the cloud ninja. "How long have you been watching Konoha and why, answer the questions and the bugs will go away."

"Bugs?" She decided to stall and watch the proceedings.

"Oh god! They're crawling into my legs! Please, just stop it! Stop it!" Chains rattled as the man thrashed at the imaginary insects swarming into his body.

"Interesting..." Hinata activated her byakugan and gasped in surprise. "That's not a genjutsu."

"You still here? Kurenai's girl." The Morino asked rhetorically. He examined the girl who was fascinated by the prisoner's cries. Her cheeks were flaming, a small smile graced her features, and her hands clutched a sketchbook and folder. "I said to leave that stuff on the table."

Her attention jerked back the jounin. "Well, the thing is, I need to talk to you about them."

"Tch. He's not going anywhere." Ibiki towered over the small girl when he stood and moved to the door, leaving the Cloud-nin to scream about how the things were eating his intestines. Outside he glanced down at the Hyuuga. "Talk."

"Why are you a shinobi?"

"Because I like the job. Now what is it about those papers you have to tell me personally?"

"I see." Hinata flipped open her sketchbook to the appropriate page. "What do you think of these?"

Ibiki took the drawings and suppressed a cackle. Only evil people laughed and he wasn't evil, just sadistic. "Pretty good. I would have never thought of using a cheese grater like that. The way the chords are tied together for minimum resistance, it's genius."

"Thank you." Hinata beamed.

"You designed these?"

"Yes sir. I was hoping to use them on traitors."

"If you are ever interested in working here, just ask." Ibiki stated as he memorized several of the devices. He took out a clipboard and a pen from a box on the wall and made notes. Hinata's habit re-emerged as she glanced at the door.

"Ibiki-san, hypothetically speaking, if Konoha was taken over from the inside, what would you do?"

"Mutiny? Well, hypothetically speaking, I wouldn't care. Shinobi are tools. We follow orders, no questions asked. If a tool changes hands, does it ask why? No." He eyed the girl critically as he passed back the sketchbook. "Of course there are no standing orders in case a mutiny breaks out, not like when Konoha is invaded. You would have learned that had you graduated to chunin."

"So unless given orders, a shinobi is under no obligation to fight against an inner threat?" Hinata needed to make sure she understood this new bit of information.

"Basically. Theory behind it is in the event of a coup, the lines will be so screwed, two people on the same side would end up killing each other in the confusion. This is all hypothetical of course. Did you want to stay and watch? The guy has about two minutes left before he cracks."

"No. I have an appointment. Thank you Ibiki-san."

* * *

Hinata walked out of the building and into the afternoon heat. Her eyes teared at the bright sun and she tried blinking away the salty drops. It didn't work. The Hyuuga sighed and stepped off to the side as she brushed the annoyance away. _Sensitive eyes are a pain. At least I don't have _the_ byakugan activated. It's got to be at least a hundred degrees out here._ With her white eyes clear, the girl looked up just in time to see her teammate exit through the doors she recently passed under.

"S-shino-kun!" She called timidly. He was going to be one of her hardest targets. The Aburame slowly turned toward the Hyuuga.

"Hinata Hyuuga." He replied in his usual greeting to her. Hinata took in his ruffled clothes and faint dirt smears, and deduced he had just returned from whatever mission he and his father had been on. She matched his pace with her hands holding the file behind her. Shino just walked on, trusting she would talk when ready.

"S-shino-kun, would y-you like to g-go f-for some t-tea?"

In response to her question, the bug user altered his course to the nearest tea house. Hinata bit her lip in concentration. Shino was a friend, but loyal to Konoha. _Or is he?_ Hinata sunk deeper into her memories as she sat down in the booth. Team eight had come to this particular teahouse often and the waitress automatically brought their orders.

Shino almost always put the safety of his companions first, going so far as to take hits for them. He would, at times, complain about Kiba's arrogant attitude, yet never told him to shut up. It could be said that Shino was a study in contrasts. He spoke in a near monotone, but held emotions far longer than anyone else. The Aburame was still a kid, but often acted even more mature and calm than their teacher. He would put everything on the line to complete a mission, but when one of his teammates was in danger, he'd drop everything to help them. Shino knew the laws of Konoha shinobi better than almost every jounin.

_Thats it! It's the perfect approach! _Hinata cheered in her head as the warm rose tea slid down her throat. "Shino-kun, what is the protocol if Konoha were to have a civil war?"

Shino's tea cup tapped against its saucer. "In the event there is a coup, it would be assumed the current Hokage has been murdered. In the event the Hokage is murdered all threats are too be dealt with extreme prejudice. The village would be on high alert until a new Hokage can be found."

"And what if the Hokage is not dead?"

"... then it would be recommended all ninja fight defensive only until direct orders can be given."

Hinata breathed in the steam rising form her cup. The answers fit perfectly with her own plans, after all offense is the best defense. She slid several papers across the table. "Shino-kun. You know what it's like to have everyone avoid you. The Aburame clan is said to go to extremes, even among bug-users, and for that you have been shunned by civilians and ninjas alike."

Shino's expression was unreadable because of his coat and glasses, but Hinata could feel tension increase in the room. "The Aburame aren't the only ones shunned by this dirt pile of a village. You know Naruto-kun doesn't have any family, just us. He was never adopted, instead put out of the orphanage at five to fend for himself. I'm sure you've noticed how the villagers look at him. The loathing and disgust is sometimes so thick you can smell it."

"They hate him for what's inside of him; like your bugs, it only helps him but they don't see it. Everything about Naruto-kun is in those papers."

Hinata leaned back. It was all or nothing. Shino was a key player; he could influence his clan to the neutral route. If the Aburame did fight the stakes would be high; Naruto was a chakra powerhouse, but the Keikai bugs might drain him faster than he could recover.

"Kyuubi. He is a jinchuriki." Hinata almost missed the statement.

"Yes."

"This is... unexpected."

Hinata downed the last of her tea and dropped some coins on the table. "Shino-kun, I don't expect you to go against something you believe in, but if fighting breaks out, will you be with us? Can you protect these... people?" Hinata asked with scorn. They were not human to her; they were like worms: only good for fish bait.

Shino didn't say anything for a long time. Hinata got up to leave and devise a plan of attack when he finally spoke up. "Unless ordered, there is no reason to guard against civilian or shinobi casualties if the event you spoke of was to pass."

Hinata looked away as her cheeks heated up. _Shino is clever; he has twisted protocol to give him free reign in whom he attacks and defends. _"Thank you, Shino-kun."

He didn't answer, but she didn't expect him to. His silence was enough. A quick glance at the sky notified her that she spent more time drinking tea than she thought. Her final target would be the hardest. She knew he wanted it; the trouble was getting him to see it.

* * *

Her steps were light, and even Naruto didn't notice the entrance. He was too busy destroying the supposedly unbreakable knots that held him down. Hinata dropped her jaw in shock at seeing the display of strength.

Naruto turned his head toward the door, "Oh, hi Hinata-chan," he said surprised. The boy started rummaging around for his normal orange jumpsuit to no avail. A simple note by the water picture informed him that his 'ass-wipe' of a teammate ripped a hole in the jacket that would require more time to fix than normal. Naruto crunched the letter up and tossed it into the basket as he went for the door.

"P-please Naruto-k-kun. I-I only want to talk for a few m-minutes." Stuttered the girl.

Naruto's foot hovered undecidedly in the air. He was worried about Sakura-chan. The blonde was slightly afraid his pink-haired teammate might try to off herself without Sasuke around. _That bastard_. _But Hinata did come all this way to see me. It wouldn't be nice to just leave her hanging._ "Okay."

"Naruto-kun, we all know what is inside you, and we don't care. You are human, and at the same time you are demon, but it doesn't change the fact you are you. I-I l-love y-you N-naruto-sama." The demon vessel was in shock. She spoke with such emotion and belief, such conviction, that Naruto felt something inside him fill. He was mesmerized by every word and surprised by the loyalty Hinata spoke of.

Without conscious control, his legs and gave out and he collapsed. Hinata followed him to the ground, only pausing to catch her breath in the continued tirade. She knew if she let her Naruto-kun think by himself he might bolt. What happened after that was anyone's guess, so she continued her carefully thought out lines. He had to know they cared, that she would support him in _anything_ he chose. Even if he didn't love her, as much as it would hurt, she would see him happy with another woman. But if that woman made him sad, hell would seem like heaven once Hinata was done with her.

Naruto had a choice, and Hinata pressed this issue the most. He had friends. Friends that wouldn't mind making a new village. They could rebuild Konoha to their liking, and make sure no one felt the loneliness of abandonment and hatred ever again. Naruto started crying at some point and Hinata looked on, feeling her own eyes water in response to his inner battle. _Is this worth it? I'm hurting Naruto-kun... I should be punished too... but it must be done._

It was early morning when she stopped, and only because a nurse rushed in. "Thank god he's still here..." The woman sighed as she caught sight of the two genin sitting on the floor. "Hyuuga-san, next time, please don't mess with a patients restraints."

"W-what is going o-on?" Hinata asked timidly. Her throat was a terribly sore.

The nurse pushed a lock of hair behind her ear before replying tiredly, "I don't know if I should be telling you this, but apparently another genin defected last night. It was the Uchiha's other teammate. A Sakura Haruno, I think." With that the nurse left just as quickly as she came.

Hinata smiled wickedly and stared at the lines in the floor. Things couldn't have worked out better if she had planned it. Peaking out from under her bangs, Hinata's breath froze. Naruto-kun's expression went from despair to pure rage as his pupils elongated into slits. Her Oni-sama had arrived.

END.


	11. Killing Time

**Killing Time  
Never tell people how to do things: Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S. Patton**

The sun rose over Konoha like a fiery red eye, bathing the shinobi village in a scarlet glow. Civilians and ninja awoke to a blood red sky. Some shivered as a feeling of cold dread seeped into their bones, the cause unknown. Slowly, people left the comfort of home to go about the daily grind.

Friends and neighbors congregated in the markets. Nervous laughter erupted from the groups as old jokes were told in increasing number to combat the atmosphere of doom. It was only temporary relief; they soon found themselves in an awkward silence.

Unconsciously, retired shinobi – what few that reached the age – found themselves carefully scanning their surroundings. Everything looked normal, but the foreboding feeling couldn't be shaken. It was as if the sky was glaring down at the great village with unending killing intent. The thought was unsettling at best, and heart stopping at worst.

Far above the 'hidden' village, two human forms sat atop the Hokage monument. One figure stood next to the other, which was crouched on the Third's head, twitching every few seconds. The fair girl giggled and her eyes locked on her companion. His messy blonde hair gave him a wild untamed look that his whisker marks only added too. His slitted eyes roamed over Konoha, radiating hunger.

Formerly faint whisker marks deepened impossibly fast as the boy turned his gaze to the girl. "Ne, Hinata-chan. Isn't the sky pretty today?"

"Yes..." The girl trailed off in a daze. All her dreams were coming true. Her hand came forward to stroke those golden strands that sung to her, but she bit her lip and drug the limb away before it could make contact. He had already turned back to his surveying of the leaf, subconsciously bombarding it with killing intent at the same time.

White eyes locked on the last stop before retribution, the Hokage tower. Unable to contain her joy any longer, Hinata skipped away with a bright smile. Things were about to heat up.

* * *

Tsunade-hime, also known as Obaa-san and Gondaime, blinked blearily at the sound of clinking china. She rose from her slumped position and several stacks of paper slid off of her. The Hokage smiled up at the white eyed girl approaching her desk, for she was bringing the nectar of life.

"Morning, Hinata-chan. Is that for me?" Tsunade asked sweetly. Her face perked up the swiftly approaching morning drink. Shizune always sent a ninja in with a disguised dose of sake. It wouldn't due for it to get out the Gondaime couldn't wake up without a shot of liquor.

"Y-yes, Hokage-sama." Hinata bounced from foot to foot. Folders, most likely mission reports, and requests covered every inch of the desk.

Tsunade smiled lazily at the genin's plight and swept her arm across the table. Books and papers crashed into the opposite wall with a thunk. Hinata quickly placed the tray onto the cleared space and then stepped back nervously. Tsunade gleefully tilted the white teapot into a matching teacup, the liquid filling it to the brim. Intoxicating fumes wafted to the female and soothed her frayed nerves. The cup was drained in less than five seconds.

"Hinata-chan, do you-" Tsunade broke off and her eyes widened in shock. Her body locked up and the sannin stared in horror at the shy genin.

Hinata's face flushed at the accusing look directed at her. "I apologize, Tsunade-hime. I can not allow you to interfere with today's proceeding; your oath to the village would require you too. Naruto-kun values promises. You understand, Tsunade-hime?" The Hyuuga walked around the desk, happily talking as if paralyzing her superiors were an everyday event. "If you can't do anything, no one can say you went against your promise! Don't worry about the village; Naruto-kun and the rest of us are just going to do a little cleaning."

Hinata was behind the Hokage. She pushed the chair, thankful for the wheels on the bottom. It rolled along the floor easily. Tsunade's eyelids began to drop, despite her struggle to remain awake. Hinata's words flowed seductively. "Go to sleep. You can't fight it. I borrowed from your own private stocks... Naruto-kun told me about an interesting poison you used on the Toad hermit. No smell or taste. It's useful. Isn't it?"

Hinata huffed as she lowered the heavy woman to the floor, absently pillowing the scattered papers beneath her head. "Sweet dreams, Tsunade-hime."

The Hyuuga dusted off her hands and exited the office. "Is everything all right? We heard something crash in there." One of the two guards asked her. Hinata shrugged, the action releaseing a mechanism on her shoulders. Well oiled hinges didn't squeal, as was evident by the reaction-less jounin and chunin. Normally it would be two jounin, possibly ANBU, but the current forces couldn't afford it. Her job was only made easier.

"H-hokage-sama has a headache this morning." Tsunade's temper was well known. The chunin backed off, but the jounin peered at the doors. His forehead protector reflected sunlight from a window. Hinata relaxed and felt familiar weights drop into her hands. "Perhaps we should call for Shizune-san?" The nameless jounin asked. His instincts were screaming that the situation was not right.

"That won't be necessary Hige-san," The jounin narrowed his eyes at the girl. He had never told her his name, and he only knew she was a Hyuuga from the white eyes. "Hatoko-san."

"Wha?" The chunin recognized the pale girl. Hinata Hyuuga – reportedly the weakest Hyuuga ever produced. The question was how did she know him? Her cheeks flushed.

"Hige Motoku. Attempted assassination of two-year-old infant Naruto Uzumaki. Failure due to Hokage and medic nin arriving for annual check up. The incident was written off as random respiratory failure, but people talk." Hige scowled, but didn't have a chance to retort.

Metal flashed and the jounin hit the floor, blood leaking from his neck. Hinata completed her three-sixty, dragging downward near the end. Her lips curled upward at the intestines spilling onto the hard wood floor. "Hatoko Natsume. You refused to teach Naruto-kun anything at the Academy, going so far as to teaching him incorrect hand seals. That's dangerous."

As sandaled feet inched away from the growing blood pool, she made a mental note to send someone to clean it before Tsunade woke up. The woman didn't like blood after all. Hinata flicked her wrist, causing one of her serrated daggers to sink into the neck of the chunin, slicing through the jugular to put the man out of his misery.

Hige wasn't getting off so lightly. Her earlier attack would prevent him from calling for help of course, but was far from life threatening. Hinata tossed her remaining dagger in the air, only to catch it in the other hand. This process was repeated several times to give the jounin time to realize just how dead he was. "Hige-san. You have to pay for your transgressions." The statement was said with odd solemnity that was at odds with the happy expression gracing her features.

The jounin moved back, one hand stemming the flow from his neck and the other holding a kunai. Hinata twirled her dagger one last time and charged. Her prey was fast with much more experience, but the blood loss was affecting his mobility. She parried each attack easily, her natural speed disabling the jounin's maneuvers.

He ducked down and rolled, blood soaked hand tossing shurinkan at the girl. Hinata threw her dagger toward Hige in a last ditch effort to kill her opponent. The man tilted his head and let her weapon fly pass. Many sharp star shaped projectiles dug into her torso, or so it seemed. Hige would have cursed when he saw the Hyuuga's form poof into that of the dead chunin's, had his voice box not been damaged. _Substitution!_

A cloud of smoke signaled the genin's reappearance behind him. Hinata twirled in the air, catching the dagger she had thrown seconds ago, and kicked the jounin's head. Her chakra powered attack sent the man into the wall. His body, already weak from blood loss, refused to let him up. He reached for a solider pill, but Hinata blurred into action. Her foot stomped down on Hige's hand. His vision started to swim as the short-haired girl pinned down his other hand, breaking fingers as she did. "Can't have you using jutsu, can we?"

He would have screamed if he could. Hinata cut down to the bone on his arm, and visciously ripped off musle. She hummed and flipped the blade over, using the serrated edge to saw through. Occasionally, she activated her byakugan and playfully tapped at his chakra coils. Hinata would never claim to have the accuracy of her older cousin, but she knew basics of chakra manipulation in others.

Five minutes later Hinata stepped away form the mutilated corpse, cleaning her daggers with a procured forehead protector. She walked over to the window to pry it open. Wind blew in and carried the scent of death out to those waiting in the shadows. The Hyuuga looked toward the Hokage monument and held out Hatoko's blood soaked forehead protector. Burning sunlight glinted off the metal, which was soon answered by a glint from the top of the Third's head. She drew back into the building and dropped the blood covered headband with a sigh. Life was good.

Absently, she placed the flat of the daggers against her wrists and pushed the handles up. They slid back into position and with a quick stretch, they had returned to their original storage place between her shoulder blades. She would have to thank Kiba for the set up; no one expected a Hyuuga to use weapons.

* * *

To the casual observer, Shikamaru Nara was sleeping on the bench across from the Ichiraiku ramen stand. He wasn't. When the expected beam of light flashed in his eyes it was blocked by his closed eyelids to prevent searing. The temperary increase in light alerted the chunin. Signal received.

"Oi, Chouji. Were finished here." Shikamaru stood up and his hands slid into his pockets. His tubby friend nodded and slurped up the last of his ramen in one smooth, practiced motion.

The Akamichi handed his bowl back to the man and his normally happy countenance darkened. "Ichiraiku-san, I'd suggest you close up for the rest of the day." The ramen chef was confused by the sudden transformation of his best customer's friend... but he was a ninja. Something was up, and he was being warned.

"We worked late last night anyway." The man turned to his daughter who was holding a spoon to her chest with a confused expression.

* * *

With heads held high, Hinata and Neji Hyuuga walked through the gates of the Hyuuga compound, Naruto Uzumaki between them. Hyuuga's of every age did a double take at the group of three marching through the grounds. Neji looked smug, and the prodigy never looked smug. He never looked anything but indifferent. Hinata was holding a small black notebook to her chest, and smiled widely at the people she passed. The number one loudmouth ninja wasn't saying anything. He didn't even smile; instead he placed his hands in his pockets and _growled_ at the watchers.

"Remember, not a single main family member is to make it out alive." Hinata whispered to her accomplices. They nodded, and Neji jumped off. In the hospital, he had memorized the entire list of transgressors, and was pleased to find Hinata was the only main Hyuuga spared, though there were a few branch members. He would enjoy working out some family issues.

Hinata watched her cousin for a few seconds. Blood splattered out of Seiria's mouth as the seventeen year old fell to the graceful attacks of her inferior. Neji's fingers stabbed at the woman's tenketsu mercilessly, cutting off her control and finally chopping at her neck. Chakra scalpels. Neji spun on his heel and kicked his cousin's head at the group of main family coming at him. He smirked.

* * *

Hinata charged the two oncoming Hyuuga. Main house. _Of course... branch members won't attack a main for fear of activating the caged-bird seal. Once Neji-nii-san reveals how to counter it, things will really get busy! _

The genin ducked down and rammed her open palms towards the exposed stomachs of her mother's sisters. They blocked with a burst of viridian chakra, disapproval strong on their features. _I don't need them! I don't need their support! I have Naruto-kun! _One of the women jumped to the side and made a jab at Hinata's arms. The only short haired Hyuuga crouched and rolled to avoid the blow. "Weak and a coward, we should have given you to the branch house at birth." Her aunt stated.

Hinata hated their attitude. She hated them, and they would die before back up could arrive. The younger aunt leaped to the other end of the hall to intercept the rolling Hinata. The Hyuuga woman reached up and tugged free several strands of hair, intent on making a chakra enforced rope to bind the rebelling girl. "You face harsh punishment for this, niece. Hanabi-chan will be made the heir and you will be branded with the caged-bird seal."

With a grunt and some chakra focused into her palms, child's play for any Hyuuga, Hinata halted her rolling and kicked up. "That's not possible. I already killed her." Hinata's heel slammed into the woman's chin, throwing her in the air and defenseless to assault. Byakugan activated, Hinata rapidly worked through the sixty-four palms; she got to thirty-two strikes before her foe spun out. The kaiten was weak but forced Hinata to stop and move back; she had forgotten about her other aunt.

"San, you let this thing do that to you?" The woman helped her sister up while launching a barrage of shuriken that Hinata was hard pressed to avoid.

"I am not weak anymore... I changed myself!" Face flushed, Hinata jumped at the wall. Her feet slammed into the wood only to hang on with chakra. She then slid over to her relatives, spiraling toward them using the floor, ceiling, and walls as her platforms. The control she exhibited was easily equal to that of a jounin. The two women faced back to back, all three combatants felt their veins bulging as chakra raced toward their eyes.

Blue energy exploded from nearly every pore as Hinata fell on them. The two women came at her with a sync that the famous Ino-Shika-Chou trio would envy. It didn't help. Hinata flowed around them like water, once again falling to the ground to avoid a hit. She wouldn't waste chakra on blocking. Hinata's legs shot out and she spun on the heels of her palms effectivly knocking the feet out form under the women. Her aunts fell backwards, but turned their motion into a flip and came at her again. Hinata slid sideways and clenched her fists. They were expecting her to fall again, to run like a coward. But didn't Shikamaru call himself the biggest coward in Konoha? _I'll show them. _

As if in slow motion, the two white-eyed women ran at her, arms primed for a killing strike. Hinata jumped up. Her feet stuck to the ceiling, one of her fisted hands pointed at each woman. "You two used to make fun of Naruto-kun. Call him names when you thought no one could hear you, but he did." Clenched fists relaxed to reveal two balls of concentrated chakra. The two women screamed as one when Hinata hit them. Her body became a spinning top, two ribbons of blue whipping around her. Upon collision, the highly focused chakra burned everything it touched, and scorched the chakra coils of her opponents. They dropped dead within seconds.

She panted and jerked her head at the crash down the hall. Debris littered the hallway, crunching under her feet as she scanned for threat. "Rikdou-san?" Hinata blinked at the sight of her twenty year old cousin of the main house trying to get out from under the wall that had collapsed on him.

"Hinata, run! It's coming." He struggled to push off the heavy wood as blood rushed freely from his nose. Hinata's eyes followed the trail. She blushed at the strong boy standing in the middle of the hole, fist still extended. _Is that a red haze around my Oni-sama? Byakugan! _

"Wow. H-he went through f-five walls. N-nice, Naruto-kun."

"Hinata!" She ignored the cries of her family and peered through the set of body-shaped holes. . Naruto hopped over, eyes a slight purple now and claws ready to rip. He threw her a smile, then got serious again as he faced the Hyuuga being pinned down by collapsed wall.

"I remember you..." He whispered, recognition flashing through the blondes eyes. Hinata giggled and rushed off to check up on Neji, and take out some more along the way.

* * *

Shikmaru and Chouji stood at one end of the market. The laziest chunin ever yawned from his position in the shadow of a wall. His best friend was busy stringing kunai on wires glancing at the crowds every few seconds. Shikamaru arched and eyebrow and pushed off the wall. "Okay. That was the last one." One eye – because he couldn't be bothered to use both – tracked the little girl and her mother stepping around the corner. Only adults remained at the stalls, nervously purchasing comfort foods among their other groceries.

In a smooth motion, the round boy loosely secured the wires to his body, nodding to his partner. "Baika no Jutsu!" The Akamichi expanded similarly to a balloon and caught the attention of several shoppers. They turned toward the cry, laughing at the oversized boy. It was the last thing they ever did.

Shikamaru crouched down and formed his family hand seal. "Kage Nui." Shadows flowed across the ground like oil and connected one to the other until the entire street was bound. "Nothing personal... well yes, it is personal. Chouji?"

"Nikudan Hari Sensha!" Head, legs, and arms vanished with a burst of smoke and in place of the large boy was a ball decorated with sharp weapons. Pavement shredded from the many kunai digging into the ground, adding speed to Chouji's attack. It rolled toward the masses, men and women alike screamed as the spinning ball of death closed in on them. Shikamaru raised his hands a little higher and concentrated. He didn't particularly want to feel the sensation of being grinded into little bits. Several ninja had been caught in his web of shadows, unprepared as they were for an internal assault. _Too bad we didn't get any jounin in this batch. I have to concentrate... timing is everything_.

Half a second before the Akamichi's rolling ball of death closed in on his victims Shikamaru released the jutsu from his captives. Not even trained ninja had time to jump away; as it wasn't until they felt the bite of the blades did they feel the technique's release. The street that had been covered in shadow was now covered in gore. Only body parts and blood remained of the formally numerous shoppers. Chouji dropped his jutsu and stood up clean among the carnage. The extreme velocity of his spinning prevented any blood touching his body. Shikamaru had chosen a spot far enough away to avoid the blood splattering.

"Oi, Chouji! Come on, some one is bound to have heard that." The two friends jumped away from the massacre, knowing what ANBU left in the village come soon.

* * *

Ino slammed open the door and screamed, "I'm HOOOOOME!" The glass windows rattled in their frames, because of the door hitting the wall or Ino's shout, it was hard to tell.

A light blonde woman popped her head out from behind a door and shushed her daughter. "Ino-chan, come here. Haven't you heard the screams? We're under attack... take that sucker out of your mouth this instant. That sugar will go straight to your thighs!" Ino's mom whispered harshly. Ino shifted into the building, gracefully moving toward her mother. Pale blue eyes took in the thin huddled form with a smile.

"But mom, I am part of the attackers." Ino cheerfully stated and twirled the strawberry flavored sucker in her mouth happily. Suddenly Ino rushed forward as her mood did a 180.

"Ino!" The woman shrieked and her daughter snarled. The kunoichi's fingers wrapped around her mother's long silky hair. She jerked angrily, forcing the woman into a standing position.

"How do feel like learning a new technique!" Ino kicked out at the woman's legs as she released the hair. _Disgusting..._ The woman tumbled onto her back and she found herself beneath the murderous gaze of Ino Yamanaka. For the first time ever, the woman was at the receiving end of her daughter's temper. "No one is here to witness it, and dad is out on a mission. No one will talk; everyone is going to be dead."

The ninja spat out her candy, which shattered against the floor as if telling the woman her fate. Ino watched _that woman's_ eyes widen in fear. She pulled off her arm warmers, revealing vertical scars and eight kunai. Releasing the catches on two of the blades, Ino stabbed _that woman _through her hands.

She snorted at the cries of pain and tears. "You think that hurts? That's nothing." Ino marched over to a vase and threw it against the wall in rage. "I hate flowers! I hate you! I've always hated you!" She executed a roundhouse kick that destroyed the stands of flowers all around her. Shards of pottery sliced the pinned woman leaving behind hundreds of stinging cuts. The woman whimpered.

"Ino-chan, you're sick. You need help." With a will that shocked the vengeance-seeking-girl, her mother ripped her hands off the kunai and ran to the back door. Ino narrowed her eyes as the bolt slid into locking position. This reprieve wouldn't last long.

"Like a ninja needs doors." Ino flipped her hair and walked out the shop door, popping a jaw-breaker into her mouth. _Mmmm. Watermelon. _

The girl deflected a kunai and turned around. "I don't have time for this. She has to DIE!" Ino flipped onto the side of a building and searched for her opponent. A jounin. _Crap. I can't take out a jounin alone. _Playing for time, she charged up the building while reaching for her forehead protector. Praying to whoever would listen, Ino reached the top and jumped. The metal glinted, and Ino hoped someone got the message.

"Shit!" Ino winced when she blocked the punch for her head, but at least she could get a look at the man trying to kill her. Aoba Yamashiro was a specialized jounin, and as annoying as heck. The blonde really hated those stupid sunglasses he was wearing. They exchanged words – Ino mostly cussed at him – then the jounin started forming hand seals. Ino blinked in confusion before throwing herself to the side. _Those are Sasuke-teme's seals!_

A huge fireball burst from the man, singeing her skirt. Ino teleported – really just switched with a loose brick – next to him and aimed a kick at his chest to shut off the stream of fire. Aoba jumped back from the kick and caught her incoming fist. Ino tried to pull away, but his hold was too strong; the jounin's kunai homed in on her heart. _Not fair! I didn't get to fin..ish?_

Aoba roughly tossed her away and retreated as something impacted against the roof, sending shingles flying. "Kiba-kun!" Ino cried with joy jumping up and down. The dog user grinned at her and gave a thumbs up.

"Heh. Couldn't let the damsel get hammered could I?" Akamaru barked and wagged his tail from Kiba's feet. The blonde was never so happy to see the smelly dog boy. His sharp eyes must have seen her signal and came running. _I am so glad Hinata-chan worked this signaling thing out._

Aoba shrugged. "So what if there are two of you? Genin are genin, and for your infractions against Konoha, death is the only suitable punishment."

"Wrong." All three humans and dog jerked their heads at the new voice.

"Mom!" Kiba shouted. His mother's hair bristled in wind, her eyes feral as she stared hard at the man who threatened her son.

"Tsume..." Aoba trailed off.

"Kiba, Ino. Go do whatever it is you're doing. I'll deal with him." She spread her legs and crossed her arms in preparation for her family jutsu. Her animal partner tensed next to her, ready for action. Aoba shifted into a more comfortable stance and examined the woman. The fight could take a while.

* * *

While the two jounin sized each other up, the two genin jumped back down to the streets. Ino looked back at the family business and tilted her head. She started laughing and began doing seals slowly and carefully, as if it was her first time. Kiba jumped off and skewered a stray chunin before he could hit them. "Ino, what are you doing? You're a sitting duck just standing there!"

"Shut it! I'm going to smoke that woman out! I've seen Sasuke-teme use these seals often enough; I can do it!" Reaching up to her mouth, Ino breathed out. The ball of fire that exploded into the shop was nothing impressive, and the blonde distinctly felt burns on the top of her mouth, but it was enough. The preservative chemicals that were now soaking the floor exploded on contact with the chakra powered fire. Ino and Kiba hid behind a stall to avoid the burning projectiles.

"You have got to teach me that!" Kiba laughed. He was fascinated by explosions, and what Ino just pulled off was one of the best ones he had ever seen.

* * *

"Kami-sama! The entire east market sector is on fire! Where are the shinobi? Don't they have some sort of water jutsu to deal with this?" Someone screamed as they watched flames in the distance.

"Isn't it obvious?" A soft plain voice called from the shadows. Council members gasped at the sudden appearance of a boy in the shadows. "They are the cause of it."

"What are you talking about? We own them!" An old woman snarled. Earlier today she had witnessed the murder of her granddaughter, and it weighed down on her old body like nothing else. The shadowed boy stepped out, revealing his pale coat and sunglasses.

"Aburame." A man spoke coldly. Shino nodded to the man, still quiet. "What do you know of these events? Where is the Hokage?"

"In her office I suspect." Shino walked over to the door of the meeting chambers, vaguely conscious of the disbelieving looks shot his way. He stopped and turned. The boy held his arms out in his normal stance and held it. His concealed eyes focused on the two council members with the strongest chakra. _Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu. The thirds old teammates._

"Boy, move over." The man whispered and shifted.

"Look around."

The gathered people did so, and one died of a heart attack. All over the walls millions of insects swarmed in the shadows. The destruction bugs buzzed and crawled toward the old politicians. Shino remained standing, watching the two former shinobi assess the situation. Mitokado shed the outermost layer of his robes for more maneuverability and jumped back. "What are you doing boy?"

"I find it ironic. Konoha is known as a Shinobi village, and yet the civilians have so much power. I'm correcting that." Shino spoke with finality, and his arms dropped. The many insects calmed, not moving an inch. Mitokado and Utatane flashed into motion, the old woman guarding the others back. He jumped up and his hands blurred through seals. "Daijigoku no Jutsu!" Beneath the bugs, a sandy warp hole opened up and started sucking them in. Shino flickered his chakra and the swarms took the air. Like a school of fish, the insects flowed together as they came at their target, occasionally separating in avoidance of a jutsu. Years of a sedentary lifestyle took their tool and left the old man unprepared to face the Aburame. He couldn't do anything in the cramped quarters as the bugs sucked his reserves dry.

Meanwhile, Shino was busy concentrating on the wrinkly woman who had an arsenal of jutsu at her disposal. Elemental bullets shot toward the bug user, who easily jumped away. The woman crossed her fingers in the ram seal and five shadow clones silently appeared. All six bodies circled around the Aburame, speed increasing until they blurred together in one continuous stream. Sebon and Kunai came from all directions, in answer Shino jumped up. The weapon's trajectory changed and followed him upwards. "Give it up boy; all your precious bugs are busy with Mitokado." The six women cried out triumphantly.

Shino Aburame watched the projectiles close in. Still airborne, he raised his arms and brought them down with such force Koharu's gray hair blew back. A veritable cloud of bugs hummed in the air before her, with the cursed Aburame standing atop them. His insect's hard exoskeletons deflected her weapons, of which the cloned versions smoked away. Koharu's clones went the way of their weapons as destruction bugs landed on them.

The woman withdrew a poisoned kunai and waited for Shino to land; the tiny bugs couldn't support his weight for long. Sandals touched cool cement flooring and Koharu targeted his heart. They looked up, surprise at his speed evident. "Why?" She huffed out and bounced away.

"In a village that bows to the whims of civilians... what do they think of my clan?"

"What do you think? Fukumikuchi Hari!" Multiple poisoned needles flew out of her mouth and toward the Aburame's neck. Shino's body disintegrated into bugs that flew off; he then came at her from the left.

"You don't understand it, but this is for the best."

Koharu clapped her hands together and four identical hisses echoed throughout the room. A medium grade explosion went off with Shino in the middle of it. The woman deflected stray chunks of concrete with her kunai and glanced back at the other council members. They were okay – shook up and looked about ready to piss themselves – but okay. She leaped into the air narrowly missing the rain of kunai aimed at her person. "How!"

Dust caked Shino's spiked brown hair and a cloud of destruction bugs hovered around him protectively. The woman glared and prepped for her next attack, but the sudden feeling of thousands of pinpricks along her back stopped her. Scared now, she looked to her companion to see his dry corpse on the floor. "No!" She screamed in anger and her hands speed through another set. Shino blinked, that combination was likely to bring the building down on top of them. _Foolish woman_. "Doton: Dory-"

The waves of chakra feeding bugs descended upon her, losing what chakra had been gathered to the ravenous insects the woman failed. Shino turned around to find his father. "Shino."

Shino nodded and gathered his personal colony from the masses as he approached the civilian's cowering against the far wall. _My family, in a few generations time, could easily be viewed as monsters. These people have no business in the shinobi world. Konoha started out as purely shinobi, then these interlopers came in and spread distrust and rumors with their ignorance. Civilians... _

The small group of aged men and women had so little chakra they couldn't even scream before it was all taken.

* * *

"It's such a shame. All that talent wasted on a branch family member." The head of the Hyuuga commented. Neji let it slide; it's not like the man would be alive much longer anyway. He stood in his personal jyuken stance; right arm out and slightly up, the other slightly down. Hiashi sighed. "Neji, I told you about your father. You know better than anybody the effects of the caged bird seal. Give up and I promise your life will be spared."

"Ne, girly-man. Shut up and fight Neji already." Both Hyuuga turned to see Naruto cleaning red junk out from under his claws. The blonde gave a fanged grin to the older boy, "Didn't I say I'd change the Hyuuga for you? He's the last one for this place!"

"I see the demon was really in hibernation all this time. You will exterminated when this over."

Naruto sneered, which looked strange on the boy. "You and what army?"

Hiashi was debating weather that was a statement worth answering when he felt the chakra coming at him. Naruto did what he did best, he cheered Neji on. Hinata stumbled out and watched the fight. She yearned to be the one to take her father down, but Neji needed it more. His fighting was more than a passing craving. He would never be able to move on with them without the sense of closure defeating Hiashi Hyuuga would provide.

Chakra clashed as the two battled it out, a far cry from the battle Hinata had at the chunin exams. Neji's speed was on par with the far more experienced jounin, and each hit resulted in a blinding flash of chakra. As the two fought a crowd gathered, watching in amazement. Hiashi, strongest of the main house in a stalemate with the prodigy of the branch.

Hinata tore her eyes away from the war for supremacy. She could see her father starting to sweat, he didn't want to loose Neji so he would resort to the seal soon. "N-naruto-kun."

"Yes, Hinata-chan?" His chipper attitude belied his beastly look.

"Do you know that the Kaiten is a main-house-only technique? Neji-nii-san developed it on his own."

"Really? Cool."

"Hinata-sama..." a voice whispered to the girls left. She looked to see a branch member; the kitchen girl if she remembered correctly. "What is going on? Why is Neji-san fighting Hiashi-sama?"

"Watch!"

Hiashi moved back and did a one handed seal, fully intending for the genin to fall down screaming in pain. Neji smirked and crossed his arms, his feet suddenly turning him in faster and faster circles. "Kaiten: Kai no Jutsu!" The area Neji had occupied heated up as a dome of chakra formed around him.

Hinata saw the disbelieving looks directed at her cousin and blushed. "The kaiten, by pushing chakra completely out in this particular fashion the caged-bird seal is neutralized. With no ambient chakra to draw on, it can't work. Now this is the best part!"

The miniature tornado that was Neji Hyuuga started moving toward the second to last main house member. All attention was focused on the battle. Hiashi dropped the seal and started to move into the kaiten himself when Neji stopped two yards away and thrust his open palms out. Silver-blue energy hammered into the older Hyuuga, completing the attack. Hiashi sat dumbfounded as he realized nearly all his tenketsu points had been sealed.

Neji struggled to stand, but finally he gave up sat on his knees. Sweat poured off the genin as he panted in the courtyard. Hinata stood and walked out to the center, Naruto hot on her heels. "As the last member of the main house, that makes me clan leader."

"Hiashi-sama isn't quite dead yet. He needs immediate medical care." Hinata huffed and looked down. Naruto adopted his thinking pose before snapping his fingers. The demon vessel jumped over to the barely conscious man and scowled. Killing intent wrapped around Hiashi attempting to choke him, but Hyuuga were made of sterner stuff.

"You hurt Hinata-chan, Neji, and probably lots of other people. I will not forgive you." Not even bothering to use a weapon, Naruto put his new claws to good use and ripped out Hiashi's throat. Red blood bubbled up and dribbled onto the grass. The blonde demon container shook his head and turned back to the crowd of Hyuuga. "Problem solved."

Hinata tapped her fingers together while addressing the remainders of her clan. "A-are you w-w-with us or a-against us?"

A little girl no older than five stepped up. "Of course Hinata-sama! Neji-sama!"

"Tsh. Why not? What do you want us to do, Hinata-sama? Neji-sama?" The dark haired man glanced at Naruto, who was playing with his new found ability to extend and contract his claws. "Naruto...sama?" It was a question to which Hinata beamed. At last her Naruto-kun was getting the respect he deserved, even if he wasn't paying attention. The blonde in question tilted his head and wrinkled his nose.

"Do you guys smell that? It's like smoke, from the east."

"N-neji-nii-san, you should s-stay here and r-recover. R-ren-chan, wil y-you look after N-neji-nii-san?" The kitchen girl from earlier nodded. "O-okay. The rest of y-you, with me!" Hinata jumped the gates, soon followed by some twenty Hyuuga.

* * *

"Help!" A man yelled and beat at his front door. Fearful eyes widened at the younger man approaching with a wine bottle in hand. Iruka smashed the glass against to wall and nodded at the sharp points dripping with alcohol. He didn't hear the pleas of the sorry excuse for a human being, or the screaming of the neighbors.

Jagged points bit into the soft, fat stomach, spilling acid onto the stained carpet. The alcoholic coughed up blood and dragged himself over to the phone as the chunin watched impassively. A calloused hand lightly gripped the handle of his kunai and flicked it toward the dying man. Shiny metal severed the spinal cord and all motor functions ceased, except the necessities. Iruka pulled on the doorhandle and left, a faint smile pulling on his lips. The man groaned inside the apartment as he slowly bled to death unable to move.

Naruto waved at Ino as he ran past; she blinked and returned the wave. The demon vessel caught movement from the corner of his eyes and twisted. Something cracked, but he didn't pay attention; he was searching for whatever had moved. The salty stench of sweat wafted over. Naruto glared at the burning building blocking him from the thing. _The shortest distance between to places is a straight line right? Make a straight line!_

He barreled through the flames and weakened walls onto the next street, coming out in a roll to put out his clothing. "You!" He yelled and pointed.

"You!" The man yelled in response. He had dark green hair and wore normal clothes. Bloodlust rushed through Naruto and demanded the civilian's death. Small craters were left behind as Naruto ran at the man, fangs extending the closer he got.

"N-naruto-kun! Stop!" Hinata yelled out, she had just come around the flaming house. The girl wouldn't risk running through it like her crush had.

Hinata's voice rang through his head like a wind chime. Naruto turned on the brakes and his legs made three inch trenches in the asphalt. "Hinata-chan?" He questioned.

She wiped sweat from her head and gave an embarrassed smile to the man backed up against a brick wall that was not on fire. "This is Riku-san. He used to give you free dango every week when you were three."

"Really?" Naruto blushed and scratched the back of his head. "S-sorry Riku-san. I was caught up in the moment."

"T-that's okay." Riku stuttered out.

Hinata sighed as Naruto headed off to hunt down more people. "Riku-san, you should take shelter. So, you know, something like this doesn't happen again."

"Y-yes Hyuuga-sama."

* * *

Ino pounced on the bleeding and burned woman trying to join the masses running away. Her polished nails scrapped along the smooth skin of the struggling woman as she dragged her into an alley. "Now, now mother, you can't have a _quick _death. That wouldn't be fair."

Mascara and tears tracked down the woman's face and she clawed at her daughter. Ino didn't pay any attention to her efforts; she simply slapped the attacks away on reflex. "What are talking about! Let me go! I promise I won't come back!" The shrieks were starting to hurt Ino's ears. She slapped her mother across the face with a red hot kunai.

The young girl leaned into the crying woman's ear. "You see, when the villagers get close enough to the gates Shika-kun is going to catch them and Chouji-kun is going to put them through a meat grinder!"

Wire spread between Ino's fingers as her eyes reflected the fire in front of her. The older Yamanaka winced and held her swollen and burned face. The cords wrapped around the grown woman, cutting off circulation to her legs. Ino sent a wave of chakra through the wire, smiling in grim satisfaction as her mother cried out. "I think I'll leave you here, mother. If you can get out of those binds then the fire won't kill you, but if you don't, I'll be waiting just up there," she pointed across the street to a low store. "With all my ninja accessories."

The woman coughed and Ino paused. She turned and kneeled down. "I almost forgot..." The ninja punched the woman's jaw. A snap echoed down the street as the woman passed out, blood pooling around her head.

* * *

Iruka faced another man with scars on his face and nervously reached into his kunai pouch. "Ibiki-san."

"Relax. I'm just here to pick up some peaches."

"Peaches?"

"This _is _a fruit stand."

Iruka was wondering if a screw was still stuck in the jounin's head. He waved an arm around. "Almost the entire village is on fire, body parts litter the streets, and you are here for peaches?"

"Yes." Ibiki spoke calmly and walked around the chunin to the display.

"They aren't even open."

"I'll leave some money under the welcome mat." After that Iruka decided he didn't care what the man was doing, he still had fifteen people to kill. Painfully. He left in classic ninja fashion.

Ibiki went about selecting his fruit. "Now which peaches will have the biggest pits? I'm all out of cyanide ."

* * *

Naruto snarled at the group of masked ANBU blocking his path. Hinata was exhausted but she would stand with her love! She took a deep breath and shrugged, waiting for her daggers to fall into her palms. Her blonde companion balanced on all fours, one clawed hand reaching back for a weapon.

To both genin's amazement two of the ANBU suddenly turned on their partners, swords flashing. Dog and Frog mask wove through the four others, slicing through armor and bone. The last one parried the Frogs attack only to have Dog jump over and cut off his legs. With the others dead the two ANBU knelt down before the genin, swords flat against their owner's palms like a peace offering.

"W-what is this?" Hinata asked, half expecting them to jump up and sever her head from her neck.

The masks were removed revealing two people in their mid-forties. "Some people are drawn to power, others seek it. Unlike Orochimaru, we were not stupid enough to leave our village. You, Hyuuga-san, have awoken the power we knew was here all along. We only wish to serve."

Hinata blushed. Praise! She was getting praise, from ANBU no less! Naruto could hear the ANBU's heartbeat's remain steady through they're declaration, so they weren't lying. Despite that fact, he still didn't understand what they were talking about. "Hinata-chan?"

"I-it's okay Naruto-kun." She addressed the waiting man and woman. "We accept your fealty. You could check and see if Shikamaru-san and Chouji-kun need any assistance?"

Both ANBU teleported away and Hinata blushed, smiling widely. Naruto just shrugged and got back to hunting down the mean people. _I'll never forgive them._ His eyes burned a solid red and Hinata shivered at the chakra leaking off of him. "I love you Naruto-kun."

He was already running though and missed it. Hinata just shrugged it off and focused on keeping up with the demon vessel. They were not quite done with the purge.

* * *

Screams rang throughout the day and long into the night, but the roaring flames tended to drown them out. Strangely enough, entire homes would remain untouched but be surrounded by ashes. Hinata yawned into wakefulness as the sun came up over the formerly prosperous Konoha. Something was warm. _What could it be?_

Hinata looked down and wished she hadn't. Her blood pressure just couldn't handle it. Sometime during the night Naruto had found a tree to sleep in and Hinata had followed him. He had given her his jacket... and she had fallen asleep. On him. And he was still asleep. He looked extremely cute like that, the Hokage necklace sparkling like water in the morning light. The whisker marks had faded, but stood out more prominent than in the past. Hinata inspected his fingernails to find they had retained their sharp points. _Perhaps it's permanent?_

She turned into the sun. "It's a new dawn for Konoha, Oni-sama. Our dawn. Our Konoha."

* * *

Neji knew two things for certain as he stood among the forty-something remaining Konoha shinobi. One, he felt as if some huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Two, the stench of blood would never come out of the streets. It had taken three days just to clean up the mess even with the Yamanaka using her newly mastered Katon jutsu to cremate the corpses.

Neji suppressed the urge to jump at the hand resting on his shoulder. Lee had been a strange one. During the coup, he had been with Konohamaru and friends organizing the academy students and the civilians not marked for death. To the Hyuuga's surprise, several of the civilians that were spared decided to stay, remarking how 'karma is bitch.' He occasionally heard 'and her name is Hinata' added to that. Neji had laughed at that. Once the evacuation had been accomplished, Lee was like a green missile searching out specific people, finishing them off with brutal efficiency. Now the bowl-cut boy was standing with him waiting to hear Hinata's announcement. Of their team, TenTen was in the hospital and would remain for a month.

Hinata Hyuuga, Iruka Umino, and Shibi Aburame had spent the last few days in conference with Tsunade-hime. Occasionally, yells could be heard for more sake, among obscenities. Now the fruit of those talks would be known to all. Neji snapped out of his thoughts as the blonde woman addressed them from the top of the Hokage tower. Most everything else had been burned down. "Shinobi of Konoha!"

The byakugan let Neji know everyone straightened at her voice. He would never had thought the Hokage would react like this, but she would do anything for Naruto. He had the same view, and so did most of the others in the crowd. The Gondaime bowed to the gathered ninja.

"I thank you all. We have been talking, and have come to the conclusion that a new system is needed. Please listen and wait for me to finish before asking questions." Tsunade scanned the crowd, settling on the blonde boy perched across from her. "There are no more ninja ranks. No genin, chunin, or jounin groups to separate us. We are all ninja; we all accept the risks with the profession. With that, the _Ho_kage position no longer exits."

END.

**A/N- The pervert sannin wasn't present during the revolution; he was out trying to find Sakura. Trying. ** **I hope you all enjoyed the bloodletting, I know I did.**

**If your doctor doesn't have candy, they must be imposters! Vampires! Yes, all doctor offices without candy are really just disguises for vampires to steal blood. **

**As my beta mentioned it I have an Omake dedicated to Monty Python!**

**Hiashi sat dumbfounded as he realized nearly all his tenketsu points had been sealed. **

**Neji struggled to stand, but finally he gave up sat on his knees. Sweat poured off the genin as he panted in the courtyard. Hinata stood and walked out to the center, Naruto hot on her heels. "As the last member of the main house, that makes me clan leader."**

**"Hiashi-sama isn't quite dead yet." Hinata huffed and looked down.**

**"Well, since he's been mortally wounded..."**

**"Actually I think he's getting better!"**

** Naruto adopted his thinking pose before snapping his fingers. He snuck around the crowd, kunai gripped lightly in one hand. Hinata saw this and coughed. "As my poor father, who seemed to be about to recover felt the sudden icy grip of death upon him..." Naruto quickly jabbed the man in the back, killing him. **

**"Arrrgh..." Hiashi groaned as he died.**

**"Makes me the clan head in the very real, and legally binding sense." Hinata finished. "Now about Konoha, very good pig country..." **


	12. Anko's Addiction

**Anko's Addiction  
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatly**

Anko sat perched on a stray tree branch, watching the activity below. She snacked on a dango given to her by Riku in exchange for helping move his cart. With over half of Konoha destroyed – both in population and property – the remaining residents were shifting to the one district still whole. The Uchiha compound.

Anko giggled and took aim as she finished the treat. The wooden stick flew through the air and impacted against the wall a considerable distance away. Her eyes passed over the couple passing in front of her target. The Uchiha symbol was briefly covered by the two armed civilians. They annoyed her to some extent, but the two people laughed and kept walking. Deep inside her heart, Anko wanted that. She wanted a friend to talk to and laugh with, maybe a boyfriend who wouldn't mind a little blood in bed. The ninja had known plenty of people who were into that kind of thing, or at least known of them. It never happened.

Only a precious few would talk to her, and that was only in the professional sense. She was Orochimaru's cast off and not worth the trouble. Her seal was evidence of that, even though it only gave her pain and not power. Ostracized as a genin, Anko had no one to turn to but herself. Her sensei had left her, and god knew what happened to her teammates. With no one to confide in; Anko practiced her skills alone.

At first it was only something to do in the hours of solitude, but then it grew into something more. She flitted from shadow to shadow as she followed her targets. Sometimes it was the same person for days on end that she stalked. Anko learned everything about them from their dreams to their worst enemy. Then she moved on to teh next person. Many of those that she haunted she didn't like. The people that she did like would never know. Anko Mitarashi was an outcast and so would become anyone she associated with. Her quiet watching was her only means of human contact, and she craved it.

Slipping into the role of stalker, Anko silently hopped down to follow the civilians. Her ears listened for names and were soon rewarded.

"Sasaki, do you think we'll get missions like real ninja?" The man asked his girlfriend. He toyed with the sword strapped at his back, a family heirloom he knew how to use but never did. Anko was surprised at the quality of the blade. Most civilians lacked any useful weapons.

The female of the group shrugged. She was visibly armed with a bow and arrows. Anko decided archery must have been a hobby of hers before everything went crazy. "I don't think so, unless we ask of course. The mandate is just to help with security. I heard that everyone that doesn't know how to use any weapons are having to take a crash course in Shinobi skills."

"Everyone?" The guy asked surprised. Anko slipped behind an empty trashcan. This was a couple, in the more literal sense. She suspected they were house hunting; it was a first come first serve basis now. People were claiming the empty stores and homes of the Uchiha compound at a fast rate. It was justice in a way; with no more Uchiha, the clan's wealth was shared between all the villagers. The only reason it had remained untouched during the revolution was because there was no one in it to kill. Anko smirked. If that Uchiha brat ever returned he'd have a heart attack at the sight. The ninja cleared her thoughts and paced the two.

"Not really, old people don't have to – and the sick – but everyone else, yeah. While the adults don't have to learn the jutsu, they have to master a single weapon or be proficient in several. Basic taijutsu is being taught by that kid with the huge eyebrows and his sensei is teaching the real ninja."

_That's right..._ Anko's thoughts wandered to the two green clad shinobi. Rock Lee was teaching the civilian adults' basic hand-to-hand and Gai was holding classes in the morning for the rest of them. She herself had gone to one of the ungodly early sessions only to have her butt handed to her. Anko rubbed her backside at the memory. Every time she tried to fight the guy, she ended up landing on her ass. _I'm just glad he didn't go crazy when he got back from that escort mission. He must really love his students to go with the flow like that... _

Anko blinked at the blood dripping to the ground. Thinking about Gai had made her think about her own sensei, and she hurt herself in her anger. Black painted fingernails dug into her palms leaving red scars. Anko sighed as her targets selected a house – medium sized with many windows – and disappeared inside. She calmly licked her hands clean and jumped away.

"I should probably look for a place too." Anko muttered darkly to herself. "But what's the point? I don't live with anyone and taking care of a big place would be time consuming. My old apartment went up in smoke... along with the owner. Now that was fun." She smiled wistfully at the memory. Miss Nari could scream really loud when she wanted to.

Immersed in her musings, Anko almost didn't sense the person running around the corner. Swerving, she managed to avoid contact with the Hyuuga coming. _Hyuuga's don't run... wait. This is the 'branch' member. They don't care as much about decorum. That reminds me, I ought to find Hinata-chan. We could have some interesting conversations…_

Intrigued, Anko exercised her stalking skills and tracked the white eyed man. He didn't have the byakugan activated, but Anko kept her distance just in case. To her surprise, he stopped at the newly built gates, where _Ibiki_ of all people was doing mission screening. She spread her jacket and found a comfortable position on the wall. This might prove interesting.

Ibiki was listening to some stranger talk about family issues and how his brother hated him. _Blah blah blah. Just kill him already._ The client wanted to commission them as guards. Apparently he thought his brother would send bandits after him for some inane reason Anko didn't bother listening to.

"...so you see why we need help. We can pay for a B-rank."

Ibiki started laughing. Anko blinked. What could the former examiner be laughing about? She glanced over the scene, and saw the faint shaking of the other interrogation specialists. Her eyes narrowed. They were laughing too, but trying to hide it.

"What is so funny?" The man demanded.

Ibiki stopped laughing and stood, behind him a young ninja brought fourth a kunai and eyed the possible client. "First off, you lied at least six times during that whole tirade. I'm also certain you don't even have a brother. There's also the fact that we've heard rumors of someone stealing the jewels of a noble woman who was traveling between countries. Get out of my sight before I let Hirata here do some target practice." Ibiki stated coolly while his understudy smiled.

The man ran away as fast as his legs could carry him, incidentally dropping a pouch containing a large ruby as Hirata launched his kunai. Anko leaned back satisfied; it was quite a show. Ibiki had volunteered for mission sorting after their first meeting. He was quite good, and even took sick pleasure in watching the clients squirm under his gaze.

By this time the Hyuuga was speaking to Ibiki in tones low enough Anko couldn't hear from her spot. To remedy this she padded over to the gates and pretended to read the posted list of available missions. To her astonishment there were very few D-rank listed, the majority being B-rank. Only one A-rank was listed and it was an assassination that the snake summoner contemplated accepting. She wouldn't mind a vacation to the Cloud.

"Ibiki-san, Hinata-sama wishes to know if you and your team have any preference in rooms." The Hyuuga crossed his arms and waited for a reply. Ibiki's scarred face turned to Hirata who shrugged and said that he didn't think anyone else cared either. "I see. Your rooms will be ready by tonight then."

Anko blinked and walked over to Ibiki who was writing up mission briefings. "What was he talking about?"

"You don't know? Tsunade and Iruka came up with the idea that all shinobi are to have their own room in the old Uchiha Mansion, regardless if they use it or not. As Tsunade-hime put it, 'We'll be like one big family.' I think they already did yours." He said and went back to work.

Anko walked away in a daze. _A family? _She knew they no longer had ranks, and that the civilians were now getting combat training but this arragement was news to her. Together they had taken over Konoha, but just now everything was finally sinking in. She had joined in on the fighting last week because she needed an outlet. She had to see the blood and inflict the pain she felt on others. Now it was like someone came in and turned everything she knew upside down. _A family?_

Thinking back on it, the last Mitarashi realized just how much like a family they were. They had no official leader, and yet they still functioned. Every week, all the shinobi could come to a meeting at the Hokage tower, and put in their thoughts. Heck, even a few civilians came and spoke up. _I still don't understand how that old ramen chef got voted as official foreign liaison. How is he going to deal with the other Kages?_

They came up with a surprisingly simple system. Every week there was a meeting to deal with the various issues that had come up, and everyone was invited. For the long term issues such as construction and treaties, a group consisting of all the clan heads discussed it and voted with majority ruling. All of them. Anko, as the last of her line, was part of that group but she generally didn't care what happened and therefore didn't go. Shibi Aburame, Naruto Uzumaki, and Hinata Hyuuga were three of them she knew. There were over thirty of them.

Suddenly Anko stopped walking. She was in front of the old Uchiha Mansion that was being converted into the main ninja residence. It was a big building and could house probably five hundred comfortably. Plenty of room to grow. The kunoichi pushed past the iron gates and slid open the door. Almost hesitantly, she started down the halls, reading name plates as she went. _Shikamaru. Neji. Ino. Tsume. Hana. Shizune. _Anko froze. Tiny tear drops gathered in her eyes. _Anko._ Her own nameplate hung on the door by a small silver chain. The kanji shined in the polished wood, fenced in by several carved dangos.

She slowly turned the knob and entered. It was a small room, granted, but felt so much more inviting. There was an actual bed in the corner and a radio. There was no private bath, but she had seen a rather large one on down the hall. A small fridge hummed away in an adjacent room, which also contained a stove and sink. Anko sniffled, and remembered she left the door open when a blonde head poked in.

"Are you okay Anko-nee-chan?" The boy asked.

Anko blinked away her tears and smiled at Naruto. He looked different, but she didn't care. _Yeah. A family. _"I'm good, little brother."

Naruto beamed and Anko swore he could light up the room, if he wanted. "Okay. Just checking." And with that he was gone to do whatever hyperactive fox-boys do. Anko got up and left her quarters. She didn't feel like being alone; happily spinning a kunai on her finger as she stepped out into the afternoon sun.

Occasionally people walked by, but Anko found she didn't have the urge to follow them from the shadows. She didn't need to; they returned her greetings with a smile. _Now, where is Iruka? He was HOT strangling that bitch._

END

**A/N- Kakashi, by the way, isn't dead but he wishes he was. Remember Ibiki's not-genjutsu-torture method? Yeah, Hinata altered it specifically for Kakashi. Ha ha ha! Old man Ichiraku is in actuality a retired mob boss, kinda like Gato but not evil. And not dead. He can easily take a situation and turn it in his favor, plus I just want to see the other ninja leaders be confused/shocked/outraged that they have to talk with a normal person. **

**They're two seperate ruling groups, one is both shinobi and civilians that deals with the internal affairs of the vilage, such as family dissagrements and village expansion. The second group is composed only of clan heads, which includes even the families that only have one member. They deal with foregin affairs and the lord of Fire country, voting on things where simple majority rules. **


	13. Ironically Enough

**Final Chapter!  
Ironically Enough  
A/N- This is last chapter for the story; I had the idea while watching Orphen. Kabuto, who I think is one coconut short of a tree, muses on his master.  
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln**

A round pair of spectacles glimmered in the dim of light of the infamous base. Kabuto walked down the fire lit hallways –ever present smirk in place – as he thought about the snake sennin's latest acquisition. Sasuke Uchiha... certifiably the single most angst ridden teenager in the world, and a major pain in the ass. He was almost impossible to train! The brat would get all huffy when he failed in a technique and mutter about how he had to get stronger. Privately, Kabuto thought the Uchiha was just stupid.

The boy didn't seem to understand that sheer power wasn't everything. It took finesse, skill, and a certain amount of animal instinct to achieve true greatness. Take the three Sannin for example. Tsunade-hime's astounding talents stem from her amazing chakra control and medical techniques. The toad hermit was almost nothing but animal instinct backed up by experince and hard won skill. And of course, Orochimaru had the perfect blend of everything... his repertoire of jutsu was second to none in sheer size, and he had practically _become_ the snakes he was so famous for summoning.

Kabuto stuck his hands in his pockets; thoughts drifting to his master. Orochimaru was a puzzle, and all doctors enjoyed a puzzle. The white-haired medic knew for a fact Orochimaru wasn't gay, having had his own advances brutally refused. Contrary to popular belief, the man was not a pedophile. His main concern with Sasuke's body was that it wasn't disfigured by the time he took it over. Orochimaru did have his pride, after all.

Then there were the fan-girls. The Sannin could have his pick of any sound female in the village – even the lesbians – but it was as if the man had no libido! If an overzealous girl threw her self at him, she would soon be missing her head. Despite the rumors of virgin sacrifices and Orochimaru's tongue, Kabuto knew his master wasn't into that. At first the medic thought maybe the man wasn't fully intact, but that theory was tossed out the window recently.

Kabuto was about to walk past a stone door, but the absence of any presence gave him pause. It was Orochimaru's office, and he was usually in there around this time planning invasions and what not. Today he was suspiciously absent. Curiosity peaked, the ninja whipped his head around and scanned for others. All clear. He carefully entered the room and closed the door. Kabuto may have been Orochimaru's most trusted servant, but that didn't mean Kabuto was his confidant.

He didn't know why the man was obsessed with immortality, or why he had such a vendetta against Konoha. He had no clue as to the whereabouts of the snakes sex drive... much to his chagrin. It was certainly a mystery as to what they were going to do for the next three years.

Kabuto eyed the file cabinets against the wall. He left the desk and tried to pick the lock with a kunai. It didn't work; Orochimaru obviously used ninja proof locks. The tiny keyhole seemed to mock him, and Kabuto growled. He was smarter than this. With a bit of ingenuity, Kabuto took off his glasses and pried off the short plastic end cover. He straightened the curve and jammed the now sharp end into the slot.

Smirking, the medic popped the latch and gained access to the paperwork. Detailed maps of Konoha, lists of families, and even the addresses of favorite food vendors were stored in the cabinet. Kabuto wearily flipped through the papers, searching for something – anything – that would give him some insight to the deranged sannin.

His gaze flickered over to a glowing clock and he cursed. Kabuto had spent over fifteen minutes reading a file about mysterious drug trafficking, which was interesting since he had no idea Konoha had drug dealers. The medic slammed the drawer shut with a bit more force then necessary. The metal cabinet rocked, causing a jar of pickles to fall off and shatter on the floor. Brine flooded the floor to Kabuto's dismay. The medic couldn't think of any jutsu that could clean up _this _mess. Orochimaru was going to maim him.

Mentally the medic nin started going down a list of people to blame the spill, and therefore the intrusion, on. Sasuke would be ideal if it weren't for the fact the boy hated everything to do with the snake summoner. The raven haired genin would be the last one to enter Orochimaru's quarters alone. There were a few others that roamed the underground lair, but Kabuto doubted they would be stupid enough to allow themselves to be framed.

While Kabuto was trying to figure out who could be tricked into a set up, the pickle juice was making it's way across the stone floor. Salty liquid inched along, winding beneath a tiny crack in the wall.

Shaking himself, Kabuto replaced his glasses and leaned down, watching as the juice leaked under the wall. Obviously it wasn't a wall, but a hidden door. What was Orochimaru doing with a door that didn't seem to lead anywhere? The ninja glanced back at the clock. He had spent far too much time in the office already, but what could one more minute hurt? Kabuto couldn't find a doorknob or secret switch; he had picked up and fiddled with every idiotic trinket on the table and cabinets. Nothing.

With a groan, Kabuto realized he would have to do the single most undignified thing he could do in the situation. He hit the wall. When in doubt, smack it. Two solid thumps later, the stone shifted and slid away, revealing a shrine of hate and anger.

Mounted on the far wall was a dart board with a picture of a woman on it. She was a grass ninja judging by the forehead protector slung around her neck, and much hated. Orochimaru had written several expletives in red marker around the photograph, and had thrown darts in her eyes and neck. Kabuto balked at the sheer amount of killing intent lingering in the room, even after the source had gone. He nervously walked around the closet sized room, examining voodoo dolls and containers of snake venom. Who knew Orochimaru was one for witchcraft?

There was a small, leather bound notebook shoved under a stack of old papers that drew the medic's attention. Kabuto snatched it out and flipped it open, surprised to see that it was a journal from when his master was still with the Leaf. Flipping it open, Kabuto scanned the first few pages that were mostly complaints about a mission to the Hidden Village of the Grass. Then things got interesting.

_Gods! There is a Kunoichi here that's going to drive me insane! Her name is Xian Si and everytime I come out of a building she's there! EVERY FREAKING TIME! I think she's stalking me. I just wish the stupid woman in charge of this place finds that scroll the Old Man asked for fast._

Kabuto skipped forward several pages, annoyed that he was pressed for time. He would have liked to take the book with him, but if Orochimaru saw it was missing he would not be pleased.

_The old bat of Grass finally gave me the stupid scroll. I don't see what's so special about it, other than it's ridiculously huge for a technique scroll. I would compare it to my Snake Summons, but that would disrespect Manda. Apparently this scroll is top secret and was put in the Hidden Grass for safe keeping, but I..._ The medic's eyes widened at the information, but he once again skipped ahead. _Xian. I hate that woman with all my heart. Her stupid blue hair and purple eyes will haunt me every night. Literally. The bitch volunteered to escort me back as a show of good will. Imagine. Escort. Me. The day I need an escort is the day some old geezer chops off my arms. _

Kabuto snickered and continued, noticing that the ink was different. Orochimaru must have started the next entry some time later. _I SWEAR IF THAT WENCH CALLS ME OROCHI-KUN ONE MORE TIME I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO HER! I am certain she was watching me sleep. I summoned a snake and had it watch her all night. The woman is insane. War or no, I really want to kill her. If we don't get back tomorrow I will. She's looking at me right now... oh gods. I think she's trying to flirt with me._

_I did it. I finally did it. Now I wish I hadn't. It was wonderful seeing the red ribbons trickle out her mouth, until she said those fearful words. "Orochi-kun, why didn't you want to be my snake in the grass? We could have had a... wonderful time. I'll be waiting for you, always." Then she died, and I know I am condemned. When I die, that thing will be waiting for me in all her mini-skirt glory. There is really only one choice, for which I know the Old Man won't approve of, but I refuse to meet that trollop again. So I commit myself to the search-_

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Kabuto replaced the book and rushed out of the hidden room. He was surprised to find it was not Orochimaru who entered the office but a lowly chunin, who looked like he had just run ten miles. The man panted and looked up at Kabuto, "Urgent news from Konoha. Where is Orochimaru-sama?"

"I don't know... try the training field." Kabuto replied as the man rushed off. He shook his head. Whatever it was could wait, he had new information to fit into the jigsaw that was Orochimaru. Plus, he could now blame the pickle spill on that chunin that just came in.

As Kabuto left with his hands in his pockets, everything was coming clear. Orochimaru hated Konoha because it sent him on the mission to Grass. He sought immortality because he never wanted to see that Xian girl again, and he had no sex life because it made him think of her...

Kabuto decided Konoha must breed them insane. After all, he was the only normal ninja he knew to come out of the place, and he was adopted.

**THE END.**

**What did you think? It was a bit short, but I wanted to get it out before school starts. Why does snake-freak have a jar of pickles in his office? Why not? I like pickles juice more than pickles. **

**I want to thank everybody who's read the story to the end, PARTY! **

**Credits:**

**Ashmido-mask, AKA Ashmo who took on the job of editing these!**

**AND ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS!**

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**Coming Sometime This Year...**

**The Sequal:**

**Dreams of Demons**


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